Maybe this post won't belong here but I am so angry right now...so if not I don't mind if it must be moved.

There's this show on TV that gives viewers an idea of the struggle people with addictions go through and my sister and mother have it on right now. A little background: I don't have good relationships with either of them but they do know about me being anxious and depressed. They only have one or two ideas why out of many because of the few times they went to therapy with me. Which I can count on one hand. I don't go through any of those struggles yet I identify with some of the things that are discussed on the show, like having a traumatizing childhood and unfulfilling relationships and others. Of course I can see the loved ones frustration; it's easier to see something when you're not in the situation yourself.

So here these people are on this show, talking about self harm and smoking and drinking and everything else - and what is my mother doing? Talking at the top of her voice to be sure she's heard, excitedly harping about how these people are only looking for attention. Crazy people 'don't make sense' and 'don't think straight'. I've stopped counting the incredulous 'wow's'. How if anyone doesn't want to live they should just cut harder, cut deeper. If she knew how many times I've thought of how I'd be better off. That these people 'should just get over' their pasts. All this time she is laughing.Laughing. Making snide remarks about the family, friends and coworkers who need to 'just grow a pair' - because apparently they're the only ones in pain (!!!) Unbelievable!

Oh, well clearly.

No, I'm not an addict. Still. How dare you say these things knowing I'm in the same room as you?!

Unbelievable!

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by floating.feather

Maybe this post won't belong here but I am so angry right now...so if not I don't mind if it must be moved.

There's this show on TV that gives viewers an idea of the struggle people with addictions go through and my sister and mother have it on right now. A little background: I don't have good relationships with either of them but they do know about me being anxious and depressed. They only have one or two ideas why out of many because of the few times they went to therapy with me. Which I can count on one hand. I don't go through any of those struggles yet I identify with some of the things that are discussed on the show, like having a traumatizing childhood and unfulfilling relationships and others. Of course I can see the loved ones frustration; it's easier to see something when you're not in the situation yourself.

So here these people are on this show, talking about self harm and smoking and drinking and everything else - and what is my mother doing? Talking at the top of her voice to be sure she's heard, excitedly harping about how these people are only looking for attention. Crazy people 'don't make sense' and 'don't think straight'. I've stopped counting the incredulous 'wow's'. How if anyone doesn't want to live they should just cut harder, cut deeper. If she knew how many times I've thought of how I'd be better off. That these people 'should just get over' their pasts. All this time she is laughing.Laughing. Making snide remarks about the family, friends and coworkers who need to 'just grow a pair' - because apparently they're the only ones in pain (!!!) Unbelievable!

Oh, well clearly.

No, I'm not an addict. Still. How dare you say these things knowing I'm in the same room as you?!

Unbelievable!

i would be done talking to my mother..this type of behavior is precisely why i don't deal with my family..rhey do good to talk to me twice a year!

I can't wait for that day

Funny too, I decided to put headphones on and she shut right up!

[gma45]

Does she know how stupid she sounds? She doesn't have a clue about mental illness. I am so sorry this is what you are having to live with. Keep those head phones on I wouldn't want to listen to that either!

[valfa]

wow sounds like my daughter with me.no empathy

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by floating.feather

I can't wait for that day

Funny too, I decided to put headphones on and she shut right up!

Don't forget that you will move out and get away from her ignorant behavior. My Mom has absolutely no filter and still drives me crazy, but I'm an adult out of her house. I think my Mom doesn't want to accept that I suffer from ANY mental illness because that would be a poor reflection of her parenting. When I was a complete mess in high school she was worried about what the neighbors would think. Hang in there ♡♡♡

[Fuzzybear]

[Frankbtl]

Hi floating.feather, I guess the only consultation I can give other than the just focus on it being "ignorance" and on the time you'll be able to move out......is that if she's so "forthcoming" in her "views" then she's probably going to be saying things like that outside the home too and at least others who do "get it" are going to be seeing her for what/who she is.
And you know, with people like that (call me stupid but........) I'd feel sad in a way for them......that they aren't able to really understand people's emotional pain, their struggles, their torment.........and they aren't able to connect on that purely human level, to offer true understanding/caring/support, to at least try to help someone needing help. And by the sounds of it it isn't even that she isn't able to do any of that, it's as much that she doesn't even want to.
But by the sounds of it you're there!! So hold your head up (even with the headphones on!! ) and know that you're somewhere it sounds like she'll never be.
And if you want support we're here for you.

Alison

Originally Posted by gma45

Does she know how stupid she sounds? She doesn't have a clue about mental illness. I am so sorry this is what you are having to live with. Keep those head phones on I wouldn't want to listen to that either!

Thanks

Originally Posted by gma45

Does she know how stupid she sounds? She doesn't have a clue about mental illness.

She's very aware of how she sounds - which is why she says it to begin with. She only says things like that when I'm around; ridiculous considering her sister has had major depression for years (they're close in age too), went through csa and her dad has gad...there's a short list of members I could go through from her side which would make one assume she'd want to behave better. She doesn't care to be educated either. Plus she shows these members empathy and not to me. I've seen my birth certificate soo...

As for my headphones, I'll continue to wear them.

try to stay focussed and keep the headphones on.

Originally Posted by thickntired

Don't forget that you will move out and get away from her ignorant behavior. My Mom has absolutely no filter and still drives me crazy, but I'm an adult out of her house. I think my Mom doesn't want to accept that I suffer from ANY mental illness because that would be a poor reflection of her parenting. When I was a complete mess in high school she was worried about what the neighbors would think. Hang in there ♡♡♡

Originally Posted by thickntired

Don't forget that you will move out and get away from her ignorant behavior.

It's so easy to forget this in the moment, especially considering this is supposed to be my mom. Needed the reminder though.

Originally Posted by thickntired

I think my Mom doesn't want to accept that I suffer from ANY mental illness because that would be a poor reflection of her parenting. When I was a complete mess in high school she was worried about what the neighbors would think.

Not in hs, but THIS. That's her problem. She blames herself and is guilty too.

Thanks again

Originally Posted by valfa

wow sounds like my daughter with me.no empathy

Sad you go through this too People can do so much more harm, especially when they're supposed to be important to you...