My therapist tells me how hard it is to connect with her because of all my walls or defense mechanisms. She says:

I use feelings of helplessness to deny that I do have the ability to feel my emotions.
I project my emotions of women onto her, causing a lot of conflict and distrust.
And I sit on the fence a lot such as me saying, " I want to feel my emotions...but I can't. "I think you're right, but I feel I am right."

She believes these defense mechanisms are keeping me from feeling my emotions. They help me avoid my raw emotions. I believe she is right but I cannot see it. It makes sense to me but I can't fully see what she is seeing. These filters are so hard to get past.

Does anyone know how to break down these defenses in my own free time??

Help!

[glok]

Remember, defense mechanisms are most often learned behaviors, most of which we learned during childhood. That’s a good thing, because it means that, as an adult, you can choose to learn some new behaviors and new defense mechanisms that may be more beneficial to you in your life. Many psychotherapists will help you work on these things, if you’d like. But even becoming more aware of when you’re using one of the less primitive types of defense mechanisms above can be helpful in identifying behaviors you’d like to reduce.

Hello, Rara200284. Your therapist should be able to help you do what needs to be done.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms | Psych Central
Self-Sabotage: A Pathway to Destruction | World of Psychology

I wish you well.