[hvert]

The news has reported a suicide without identifying the person. The limited description so far matches my friend and the body was found near where he lives in a place I know he frequents. There may be 200 other people who match that description

My friend has serious mental health issues and has struggled with substance abuse in the past. He has had a bad few years, very depressed, a close friend dying, family issues. I spoke to him a month ago and he was pretty incoherent.

He called me earlier last week but I hadn't called him back because I was heading out of town.

I can't get in touch with him. He often doesn't answer his phone, but it's turned off and goes straight to voice mail, which seems unusual. He is estranged from his family, so I don't feel comfortable contacting them. I also know that his mother travels quite a bit and wonder if her being out of the country and hard to reach is why the authorities are taking so long to release his name (they know who it is).

I need to stop thinking about this. I am not sure if I am being ghoulish because another friend passed away while we were out of town or what, but I can't stop worrying.

[kaliope]

can you go over to his place and check on him? it must be horrible waiting it out like you are. I really hope it isn't your friend. take care.

[hvert]

The way his disease works, he cuts off all contact with the outside world, so even if he didn't answer the door, it wouldn't mean anything. He's in a condo unit, so I wouldn't be able to get close enough to peek under the curtains.

He still hasn't responded to my messages, but that could just be because he's not well. No ID in the news, either. I've talked to a few mutual friends, which may have been a bad idea, because now we're all worried.

Waiting and worrying is very hard. I used to have a friend I worried about too. Once he stood me up and I started calling hospitals to see if he was there. It turned out he was fine in a bar somewhere and chickened out on calling me to cancel. Could never understand it but I learned not to go crazy again. There is nothing you can do but call & leave messages as you have done. When he's ready, he'll get in touch. If, g-d forbid the worse happens you know you didn't abandon him and he will have known you always cared. That is special.

[hvert]

I really hope this is a situation like with your friend. I really hope I am just being weirdly paranoid.

I've tended *not* to worry in the past when I haven't heard from this friend because he disappears so often-- but given that the description matches and the location is a two minute walk from his condo, I am just sick with worry. His phone is still off. He usually just puts it on silent.

[norwegianwoman]

I am getting worried too now, do you know more three days on?