[BMWheeler89]

Hey guys, how are you? I just wanted to get this off of my chest, maybe get some objective advice.

I just feel weird all of the time. Like, strange and uncomfortable in my own skin. And sad. And suspicious. Even though things are going generally well. I start college next week, I have a beautiful and understanding girlfriend who loves me, I've been reestablishing diminished relationships with my kids and my family basically, everything has been falling into line but I still just feel... weird.

Feeling this way (these ways) all the time is really exhausting. I don't have much energy left over just to enjoy simple things or be a nice guy. I'm always worried. I keep getting to a point where in my head I'm fairly sure my girlfriend is cheating on me with one of our two male housemates. Little things that don't quite add up, or tiny lapses in my memory of events, and my head spirals down every possible scenario wherein these things could be signs that my girlfriend has been having sex with our roommate, like when I fall asleep or something.

If I take a mental step back, I'm capable of getting pretty sure that I'm just deluding myself, or being paranoid, and that she loves me and wouldn't ever do anything like that, but then I become very afraid that I'm allowing myself to be duped because I don't want anything as terrible as all that to be true. I've talked to her about it, and she's gone to great lengths to assure my that she is sincerely committed to our relationship, but no matter what doubt always creeps back in.

It isn't just that. I feel on edge and strange and uncomfortable almost all the time. Like I can't relax. My sleep isn't restful, my thoughts aren't very positive.

I just want to be a good man. I want to be productive, improve my lot in life, and be as genuinely good to my girlfriend (who I love very, very much) as I can be. These adverse thoughts and feelings are really just inhibiting me from being able to feel normal/happy.

I would appreciate any words of advice. I can't do this stuff much longer. Thanks.

[atomicc]

It sounds like you could possibly be dealing with a case of depression. Have you told your doctor about any of these feelings? I would start there. I hope you can start to feel better soon