[Melomelon]

i feel a weird nervous kind of sadness whatever i do. im not sure if it's my disorder (borderline), if i miss someone, if im just confused about if i love that person or not, if it's my medication or anything. but i barely have any sleep in the nights. when i think about that person i want to keep myself awake, because i WANT to think about everything we've done and i want to remember it. i force myself to remember it. but i don't get that fluffy feeling like before which makes me fall asleep, which makes me happy. i don't know what it is, or what i can do about it. i don't want to move on.. i don't know why. but i keep thinking: "yeah, it could be the same with anyone else" which makes me very confused. hes from the internet, which makes it even more weird. i've never seen him before so i think im making myself think i love him. i really want to love someone, i've had that since my 13th year, but i want to love him. not someone else. i can't talk to him anymore and i don't want to because i feel sad then. i don't know what to do, because i actually want to but i don't want to feel sad.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Melomelon

i feel a weird nervous kind of sadness whatever i do. im not sure if it's my disorder (borderline), if i miss someone, if im just confused about if i love that person or not, if it's my medication or anything. but i barely have any sleep in the nights. when i think about that person i want to keep myself awake, because i WANT to think about everything we've done and i want to remember it. i force myself to remember it. but i don't get that fluffy feeling like before which makes me fall asleep, which makes me happy. i don't know what it is, or what i can do about it. i don't want to move on.. i don't know why. but i keep thinking: "yeah, it could be the same with anyone else" which makes me very confused. hes from the internet, which makes it even more weird. i've never seen him before so i think im making myself think i love him. i really want to love someone, i've had that since my 13th year, but i want to love him. not someone else. i can't talk to him anymore and i don't want to because i feel sad then. i don't know what to do, because i actually want to but i don't want to feel sad.

Sorry to hear...it's sounds like OCD and anxiety! For me it's all about finding the right med combo and then everything is manageable. You might research Nefazodone or Luvox/Luvox CR...good luck!

[x_BabyG_x]

sounds like anxiety to me... best of luck xx