I wish I never had to see my mother again

I just wanted to say that--that I wish I never had to see my mother again. But I'll have to spend the rest of my life being emotionally and physically there for her. I can never escape her. She was never there for me and I resent having to nurse her ego and take care of her as she gets older. I can never be happy or free. That's just the way it is.

I just wanted to add this. Parents can put their kids up for adoption and pretend they never existed. Why aren't children allowed to do that without being made to feel guilty, as if we owe it to parents just because they gave us birth?

IMHO, we don't owe lousy parents anything.

And one more thing. Of all the ways my mother let me down, I only told her once that I hated her. She wouldn't allow me to go to church when I was nine. She must have been afraid that someone would find out our dirty little secrets.

I hate her. There, I said it and mean it more than ever.

You dont have to. The final argument between my mother and I was on my daughters 16th birthday. In November she turns 23 and the entire family is better off for not having to deal with her manipulation and simple nastiness as a human. If you're here... on this site... simplicity is key to your own wellbeing. Blood may be thicker than water, but who cares if only one person is bleeding. Just the opinion of a 45 year old whose been on his own since 17. Good luck!

My mother is a chronic manipulator. We had lunch plans today, and no sooner than we'd been in the car 90 seconds together and she starts right in asking for detailed verbal reports on the status of personal situations of my life. When I suggest we at least ease into the inevitable questioning phase of our little get-together (not that it's on my agenda at all, but I was stalling for sanity), she *screams* out "I'm going to die and there'll be no one to take care of you!!!!!"

By the way, she's as healthy as a horse, has a husband 10 years younger and will still outlive him, and -- I've never taken a penny from her, which actually differentiates me by landslide proportions from every one of my siblings. This is just something she does when she feels she's not getting what she wants, which is generally: more control.

Perhaps not unlike you, MCW, I find myself sticking by her because it's the action I can live with. Because I'd prefer that her choices not define my own. It's a testament either to my being very principled, or being rather masochistic, and I can't say for sure either way, as my hellatious ****storm of a childhood that I quite literally barely survived was not one for which I am particularly grateful! I suppose I have compassion for her though, for having perhaps gotten caught in a psychological trap for which she did not have sufficient faith in her intellect to be able to navigate an escape. Forgive them, they know not what they do and all that. The histrionics are exhausting though...! xo