[kala83]

so I have had mental health issues for a while now, and I am pretty good at having a decent handle on them in most cases of things espically in the context of my jobs.

lol I have a very high work ethic of what is professional in jobs and what is not.

but lately I have been really struggling with having two jobs being able to get a hold of my therapist and make time to go in and see my therapist like I need to ...and my depression is just ripping me apart inside.

I almost ended up seeing if checking myself into a pysch ward would or would not be the best option for me and honestly.

the idea of it potentially happening is not entirely off the table as of right now.

and I am already getting phone call up the butt from both my jobs.....already today.

so I am kind of stressed a bit about how I would find time this next week to go in and see my doctor and make sure I can do..all this the way i need to. But frankly....at this point I have to do this. Going in for my jobs and doing a good job at my jobs...is an important thing I realize that.

but taking care of my self and my mental health is pressing also and i need to make sure I am doing what I need to do for myself. If I end up losing my jobs over something as dumb as saying 'hey I need to take care of my self and my health" then in my mind maybe that job was not a good place for me to be in to begin with.

it is really frustrating that I called in to check my schedule at the new job and no one bothered telling me that I was scheduled to come in last minute today from 10am-4... I keep making dumb mistakes of **** cause apparently I thought my manager at the new job had screwed up.... and apparently they did not I though I was going in at 4 and I guess i am going in at five....but I need to call and make sure.

I honestly feel like my jobs are costing me my mental health slowly but surely

[Travelinglady]

Could you see about getting at least one different job? Sounds like, as you say, the jobs you have now are stressful, plus it's hard to get time to see a professional.

[Thunder Bow]

If you do not take care of yourself 1st, then you will not be able to take care of any work. See the therapist 1st, feel good about yourself next. Then worry about what you can do at work.

[kala83]

I understand what you mean by that. But in this world in this day and age...if I don't go to work and put in hours. Then I do not have money to see my doctor....or get my meds.

I know I need to find a good healthy balance of things in my life just getting to that point right now is the hard thing.

[atomicc]

I totally understand where you're coming from. Taking care of your mental health first is obviously the best course of action, but without the job or money that causes different mental health issues as well as lack of proper care. It's a difficult place to be in. Is there any way to cut back the hours on one of the jobs? Just til you get your head above water and are able to get therapy in?

[kala83]

well I have a lot of open time this week so I am going to get on the horn about contacting the plce I go about seeing my therapist...and maybe try to do some walk in support groups they offer there on Mondays and Tuesdays.