I'm just sick of having to be the one who has to a start a conversation to get people to talk to me, and I'm quickly forgotten as soon as I disappear from people's sights. I spent the last three weeks in hiding, kinda waiting for the phone to ring, nobody, not even my mom....

or maybe a mail or two from old friends. Well, nothing.

I'm not upset anymore, just disappointed, it seems I don't really exist.

I just don't matter. Life just goes by quietly. I wish I knew how it felt to be wanted.

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry, brokenentity. Other people might be thinking about you, but are waiting for you to make the move. I suggest you go ahead and once again take the first step.

Originally Posted by brokenentity

I'm just sick of having to be the one who has to a start a conversation to get people to talk to me, and I'm quickly forgotten as soon as I disappear from people's sights. I spent the last three weeks in hiding, kinda waiting for the phone to ring, nobody, not even my mom....

or maybe a mail or two from old friends. Well, nothing.

I'm not upset anymore, just disappointed, it seems I don't really exist.

I just don't matter. Life just goes by quietly. I wish I knew how it felt to be wanted.

I would have to say, Brokenentity, my experience nowadays suggests to me this is pretty-much the way it is. I don't know if it's because people are so busy or what. But, I find, if people don't have some specific reason to call, visit, etc. they just don't. I can't get down on people for this too much though because I know I do the same thing.

There are many internet friends I could just reach out to for no other reason than to say: "hi... how are you?" But do I do it? No, I'm off conquering new territory, so to speak. Maybe technology has something to do with it. There's always something new & potentially interesting on the internet horizon. So the tendency is just to keep jumping from one new experience to the next & to forget about those we've come to know along the way.

Personally I'm always impressed, happy & flattered when someone reaches out to me spontaneously just to say hi. So I guess I would agree with TravelingLady. Maybe you just have to be the one who reaches out. Don't think of it as being attention-seeking. Think of it as expressing caring & concern & as being characteristic of the special person you are. The world could use a few more people with that ability.

Hmm.... it seems that I have to be the conversation starter, and I have to remember people.

Originally Posted by brokenentity

Hmm.... it seems that I have to be the iftconversation starter, and I have to remember people.

Perhaps it is your cross to bear, as the saying goes. But you might better think of it as being a gift... the gift of having the ability to draw people out who otherwise might not leave their cocoon.

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Perhaps it is your cross to bear, as the saying goes. But you might better think of it as being a gift... the gift of having the ability to draw people out who otherwise might not leave their cocoon.

Never thought of it that way, I must admit

But I wish I could get a hi every now and then, you know, just to know if I'm still alive or to acknowledge my existence.

[Fuzzybear]

[vonmoxie]

"Hi."

[Rust]

Hi there brokenentity.

[Frankbtl]

Hi there brokenentity

About wanting an "Hi there" every now and then though, I'd say that isn't too much to ask.........but have you actually told people how you feel about them not making the first move sometimes?
Although if they can't/don't after you mention it, it might not be that they don't care e.g. they might be finding things hard and don't want to contact you because they can't or don't want to end up telling you their problems; maybe they've just got used to you contacting and are waiting for you to contact; maybe they don't want to "bother you"...............doesn't at all need to mean that they aren't thinking about you or asking other people if they've heard from you or that they might not be really glad if you do contact.
But you know one day can disappear into the next, and then the next and then the next sometimes............so there's a chance that they just haven't realized how long it is since they talked with you at times- in fact there might be a list of people they haven't realized how long it is since they talked to them.

And you know anyway, often people aren't as good as they could be in really letting others know how much they matter to them.........doesn't mean they matter any the less though!!!

Alison

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi there brokenentity

About wanting an "Hi there" every now and then though, I'd say that isn't too much to ask.........but have you actually told people how you feel about them not making the first move sometimes?
Although if they can't/don't after you mention it, it might not be that they don't care e.g. they might be finding things hard and don't want to contact you because they can't or don't want to end up telling you their problems; maybe they've just got used to you contacting and are waiting for you to contact; maybe they don't want to "bother you"...............doesn't at all need to mean that they aren't thinking about you or asking other people if they've heard from you or that they might not be really glad if you do contact.
But you know one day can disappear into the next, and then the next and then the next sometimes............so there's a chance that they just haven't realized how long it is since they talked with you at times- in fact there might be a list of people they haven't realized how long it is since they talked to them.

And you know anyway, often people aren't as good as they could be in really letting others know how much they matter to them.........doesn't mean they matter any the less though!!!

Alison

You're right Alison.

I usually don't share my sorrows with other people, and I'm usually quite jovial when conversing (I do have a sense of humor, and most people find me funny), but it's when I'm alone and not in a group that people notice I'm so distant, and disconnected with everything around me.

I do keep in touch, no matter how miserable I am, because I care about other people, an email, a message, a call, something to let them know, they're in my thoughts.

[Frankbtl]

Hi brokenentity

"And you know anyway, often people aren't as good as they could be in really letting others know how much they matter to them.........doesn't mean they matter any the less though!!! "

I actually meant that bit about them
Because they haven't been in touch with you, because they haven't been checking up on you, doesn't need to mean that you don't matter that much to them. Maybe more so that they aren't that good in showing it.

But, yes, maybe you could talk to them a bit more about the way you're feeling, how you feel when you don't hear anything from them, how you'd like it if they made the first move a bit more often???
And maybe gradually about some of the other things you're struggling with..........???
They obviously value your company when you're around so I'm guessing they'd maybe care if they knew some of what you're going through, do you think??



Alison