[AS6855]

I was having an ok day today. Had a few funny moments with colleagues and sent a couple of photos to dad because I have been keeping him up to date with what is happening.

Then it just went bad. Dad sent back an email. It was short and positive but it just hit me in a bad place.
"You have eyes like mine. Look at the eyes in your picture, you can see your soul".

I don't believe in souls but I looked and all I could think was "pain", because I know that even though I was extremely happy in that picture, the hurt will always be there.

Now I just feel so flat and I hate that such a little thing affected me so much.

[Thunder Bow]

That was a deep thoughtful line your father E Mailed you. What is the "Hurt" and why are you hanging on to it so heavy?? Time to let go.

[AS6855]

There is a lot. Starting with being abandoned at birth ("dad" adopted me), not being protected from his wife, and then various ongoing abuse until I was 19.
There followed a few years of self-destructive beahaviour that my partner did his best to help me with.
So really I have only really been in recovery for a couple of years (I'm 24) and now I am watching my baby sister sliding down the same rabbit hole of self-abuse, knowing that no matter how hard I try, there is only so much I can help.
I also met my mother a few months ago and in the next week I have to tell her why I won't talk to her.
So I'm not exactly able to "let it go" yet.

[Thunder Bow]

Healing takes much time. Don't rush yourself.