[XxxkittykatxxX]

Lately I've been having some days where I go from happy to ballistic in about five seconds, and think about killing myself. (It's been okay the last two...)...

I told my friend about it and he told me to go to mental health and then that I needed to tell myself to be happy--that's what they told him and he says it works.

The thing is... I'm not exactly sure what happy is. Like, I know I've been happy before and I know a lot of my being upset lately is dreading work and also being paranoid that people are trying to make me look bad. He told me that it was my choice to feel this way, and to remember that it's just a job.

I tell myself that it doesn't make sense for them to try to make me look bad--I do a pretty good job by myself,but the feeling creeps back sometimes...and I have to tell myself the same thing again and sometimes it doesn't work.

I know I have issues that need to be discussed...I just don't want to be written off as there is nothing wrong with me and just to make myself be happy. I need some actual guidance.

[avlady]

Maybe you could use some meds? I used to be very parinoid when i worked, i am disabled now but there are really people out there who don't always wish us well. You could use a therapist too, they help greatly!!!

[psychfan1]

talking it through with a therapist could help, clearly something related to work is causing you issues

I hate the words "just be happy" and "happiness is a choice". Working in treatment is a choice, asking for advice rather than ignoring issues is a choice, and one you made here.

Depression is not a "choice". It is an illness.

[Thunder Bow]

"Be Happy" is shallow and plastic. Never put on that mask. I rather see you discuss your problems and deal with them. Than see you walking around, bumping into the walls, wearing a plastic "Be Happy" mask!

[Francinee516]

Originally Posted by XxxkittykatxxX

Lately I've been having some days where I go from happy to ballistic in about five seconds, and think about killing myself. (It's been okay the last two...)...

I told my friend about it and he told me to go to mental health and then that I needed to tell myself to be happy--that's what they told him and he says it works.

The thing is... I'm not exactly sure what happy is. Like, I know I've been happy before and I know a lot of my being upset lately is dreading work and also being paranoid that people are trying to make me look bad. He told me that it was my choice to feel this way, and to remember that it's just a job.

I tell myself that it doesn't make sense for them to try to make me look bad--I do a pretty good job by myself,but the feeling creeps back sometimes...and I have to tell myself the same thing again and sometimes it doesn't work.

I know I have issues that need to be discussed...I just don't want to be written off as there is nothing wrong with me and just to make myself be happy. I need some actual guidance.

I have been working with my wonderful therapist who has introduced me to "innate health". You might want to Google it. It really helped me!