[Jenni855]

My friend Heather came to give me a birthday present when I was at work the other day. I was really busy and she noticed this and said she would come and see me later on. She never did. I texted her to thank her for the gift but had no reply. Would it be fair to say I have annoyed her? I feel a bit annoyed myself as sometimes when I buy gifts for her they either don't get acknowledged or she just texts to say thanks like I have done.
She has made me feel all guilty and I don't think it is deserved.
The only thing she could have taken offence at is that I said in the text, I probably won't see her in work for ages now as she makes no effort now she has moved department. She never makes the effort to see me anymore and when i try to see her, she says she will come and see me but doesn't bother.Perhaps she saw it as passive aggressive or something. To be honest, I am more friends with her mum which is why I think I got the gift in the first place. What would you do now?

[Little Lulu]

Let it go and do nothing more. What you are experiencing is what is called "unearned guilt.

You were honest - you were busy so work. You texted to thank her for the gift. Nothing more is required. It may not feel right that she did not reply but she is allowed to behave in any manner she chooses. Now you can elect to do the 'work' of letting go of the issue and not make more of it than it is. You did nothing wrong.

[Jenni855]

I just find it all quite weird and am worried I came across as rude or unbothered by the gift. She chose not to come and see me or reply to my message and to me, that is odd behaviour.

[dedicated]

Don't feel bad about it, you did what you had to do. BTW, happy birthday.

[Jenni855]

She is definitely annoyed, saw her today and it was very obvious. The strong part of me says to ignore her and let her get on with it as she is a hypocrite but the other half wants to apologise.

[notalone11]

I hope things work out between you. It can be easy to get worried about relationships when they're hardly around and I misinterpret other's emotions when I'm worried they might be mad at me. Hopefully you two can find an actual moment to chat and maybe clear things up. Hugs!

[LoveMe3x]

Originally Posted by Jenni855

She is definitely annoyed, saw her today and it was very obvious. The strong part of me says to ignore her and let her get on with it as she is a hypocrite but the other half wants to apologise.

Why don't you try to do both. I would first ask to speak with her for a brief moment; express my feelings to her (tell her I apologize if you came across wrong and that it wasn't your intention and I appreciate the gift).

Then smile and wish her a good day & walk away. If she doesn't wish to pursue a friendship after that then let her go. It's her loss and you said your peace.

[Jenni855]

I just don't see why I should when she treats me the same way many a time. I know that sounds childish but it seems she has conveniently forgotten that.