[slientlady]

I don't want to feel like this anymore. It hurts me. I dont know what to do. I get annoyed and it seems like over every little thing. Actually most of the time im not sure what is the cause. But it leads me to be fustrated with myself. I feel like I should be able to know the reasons behind my feelings but I simply can't. I get mad at myself. I think this annoyance and frustration is fueled by my lack of memory.its easy for me to lose track of or not be intune with my emotions. I fear I went off on a slight tangent.

[kaliope]

whenever I have that feeling of "I don't know what is the cause" that is when I remember that I am mentally ill and I don't need a cause. it is simply because I am mentally ill and that is explanation enough. mental illness causes my moods to be unpredictable and unexplainable and totally messes with me and it seems no matter whaat I do, I cannot control it. I am at its mercy. I hate it. I just have to ride it out.

[slientlady]

I completely understand and I know riding it out is all I can do. But for me I want to be able to control it. I think talking about it and trying accepting it is something i need to do more.

But I have a question for you kaliope how did you come to accept it?