[purplepearl]

I'm not sure which forum this should be in. I thought maybe dealing with emotions was best.

I'm a musician who suffers from low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. I had been in contact within the last few years with a professional musician who teaches private lessons. We have chatted a few times about setting up a time to meet / schedule lessons. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm hopeful eventually it will.

I just saw a video of an old classmate and this teacher playing together. They seemed to be having fun and classmate seems to have expanded their musical horizons by learning from this teacher.

I am struggling with disappointment and jealously. I am not sure how to reconcile this feeling within myself. I feel that I should be the one in that video, not my friend/classmate. How do people with low self-esteem tell themselves that it's OK that someone else is better / more accomplished than they are? I am really having a hard time with life lately.

[kaliope]

what worked for me when I had low self esteem was to find a strength that I had and focus on that. when I felt bad and was badmouthing myself, I would tack on, but I am great at, for me it is writing. then I could counteract that negative thought with something positive. so you see someone more successful than you, you could say, yeah they are good at that, but I am good at this. then you find another strength about you until you have tons of strengths about you.

[PianogirlPlays]

I play the piano and I paint. I am actually pretty good at both. However, making comparisons will not work. Some people are way better and some people are beginners. I find some support in the fact that there are people who enjoy and admire my work. I can share it with many others. I give art as presents. I used to sell but I don't participate inthe shows and stuff any more. A little more home bound as I am older. I used to enjoy going and playing the piano for groups and at nursing homes and such. Now, I encourage my grandchildren. Art and music are on a sort of continuum with all kinds of folks at all kinds of levels. I hope you will find great pleasure in where you are and in the fun and dedicated work of getting better.

[hamster-bamster]

I am not sure why it is the classmate OR you? Why not two videos, eventually - one with you and one with the classmate?

[Happy Camper]

Originally Posted by purplepearl

How do people with low self-esteem tell themselves that it's OK that someone else is better / more accomplished than they are? I am really having a hard time with life lately.

It would be pretty lonely to believe that you are the best, actually. I think it is a good thing to have room for improvement, as I think it would be boring to stay the same all the time.

Purplepearl, I understand what you're saying and I wish I had an answer for you.

From what you say, this just happened, correct?
I also get that sinking feeling of inadequacy and envy (I guess it is....I haven't quite figured it out yet)

What I know is that time helps. Your initial emotions will smooth out a little in a few days and you will be able to think a little clearer.

[Little Lulu]

You could look at that video negatively or as an inspiration for you to make those lessons happen for you. Since you have been feeling down lately, taking lessons might be just the thing you need.