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#1
Nov 16, 2014, 06:47 PM
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Lately, someone keeps insinuating/saying that I live in a different world than he does. Obviously, he's just referring to my outlook, but let's discuss this for a moment.
I don't live in a different world; I don't live in a happy world where there's good in everyone and everything is positive. And it insults me that you think that. You know why? Because you should know this, by now. I live in a world where bad things happen to good people; hearts - especially mine - get terribly broken; people die, and they're dying no matter how much you love them; then, you end up being clingy because of your obsessive worrying, because - Hey! - everyone's dying, and everyone's going to die and leave you, and you're just waiting for it; so, you get judged for being clingy. You get judged for putting on a fake happy face and trying to say optimistic things. You get judged for being uptight and a "sissy". Because you can't bear to tell them that you live in a different world, a much worse world. Where all you see is pessimism, but no one wants to hear that. No one wants to be brought down by you and your depression and anxiety and all of that crap. So, you let them think you live in your own stupid little world. And that's not good enough, either. Because you're judged on that. So, what does it matter? But everyone's so used to you and your screwed-up, peppy view of the world, that it's just easier for everyone to let you think that... So, you do. So, yeah; I live in a different world. And it's one you'll never know about. And it's not one that you're even interested in knowing about. Because it's not all peppy. So, I apologize if my forced optimism annoys you. But, just know, that it annoys me MORE. So, whatever. There's my rant. Enjoy. |
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#2
Nov 16, 2014, 09:33 PM
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 Hard living with judgement and critical remarks. |
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#3
Nov 16, 2014, 09:35 PM
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I'm so sorry that you find things so very difficult. I also have depression and anxiety so I understand how you feel about things because I do from time to time. I hope that once in a while you can see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
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#4
Nov 16, 2014, 11:06 PM
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Thank you both.
Unfortunately, I'm not seeing any light, right now, and I doubt I will any time soon... </3 |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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