[XSleepingSiren21X]

I'm in absolute desperation at all costs because my family keep me that way. My family is highly religious and are in fact so into it that I'm to beleive they could possibley be alienated about it, but with my situation my family likes to attack me with this tactic of religious dispute. It's not to just attack me at all costs, it's to help keep me feeling small and under someones control. Like a puppet, my family likes to have me by strings so that they are the ones behind the way I should be. Or treat me like a dog on a tight leash, but I come to notices it's not just to keep me in control, it's also a way to make me volnurable and put in place like I'm not aloud to be who I want to be.

It's not just, "oh, I just want the best for you" or, "I don't want you to end up making the same mistakes as I did, that's why I'm looking out for you". It's literally a full on OBSESSION to make me EXACTLY how they want me to be. That means going as far as liberally forcing me into submission by cutting me down, constantly confronting me, and deminising my peers just to get me to do what they want.

The fact that I'm so different and I'm ok with it, is the reason that fuels my independance and drives my open mindedness. That's what caused my family to be even more into there plans of extreme control over me, whether it's becuase they are in denial or are simply enthraled by jealousy because they can't be that way themselves, then I don't know. The point that my family is so stuck up thinking they are God because they feel there opinions are the purest of wisdom and truth, is what's the most unbeleivable, because I can't see how people that are arrogant and full of themselves with their beliefs and self rightousness are even existant in this world.

They want to say they love you, yet need to put you in a state of feeling worthless too. They feel they need to be in your business, yet your not allowed to be in theirs. My family needs everything to be thier way, they have to have the upper hand, they need to be on that high horse so they are to be look up to as an idol. They must be everything so they have control over everything.

In all aspects, just to put it in simplicity,
They're God,
they're allowed to do things, your not. They can do anything to you, your not. They're everything, your not. They're the purist people on the planet, your not.

To put it this way, they're everything because they're deep in their religion and since that's the case, they're are the holiest of the holy, and a somebody. I'm not into the their religion at all, so that makes me a sinner, outcast and preferable a nobody.

[nicoleflynn]

Do you live them? You don't have to comment on what they say. Be yourself. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is a book I recommend to everyone. The book, "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud would be an excellent resource for you.