[thickntired]

Last Thursday my husband physically abused me after I left the ER for my chronic pain. Now, I have to get out of my parents house, but I am completely paralyzed. Out of the frying pan into the fire.

Sunday, my AA sponsor committed suicide. Below is a letter I sent to the head of her pdoc's medical dept. She saw a pdoc down the hall from my old pdoc. My old pdoc choose not to sign my student loan so it was reinstated; he also choose to accuse me of narcotic abuse, not menopause, for entering the psych unit on his clock. I will now have to find low income housing where I can afford to pay the $200+/mo for my student loan, and I just totaled my paid off car in a manic episode.

This is not meant to be my pity party, just an example adversity we all face. Please take care my friends.

To: Head of Medical Department

Susan, my AA sponsor who overdosed on Sunday, was also bipolar and a recovering addict. Both of our drugs of choice were pot. She was diagnosed in her twenties and started on anti psychotics which made her gain weight. After a terrible car accident in Colorado she later needed both hips and knees replaced.

She was on disability and her Father, a pastor, was able to leave a little inheritance for his 3 children. All of the AP on the market are weight gainers or she had developed a tolerance in her almost forty years of use. She tried to pay for LaTuda because it did work, and now using a walker off and on could not gain weight. Her psychiatrist wouldn't respect her predicament, and she was considered disagreeable and a non-compliant or problem patient. There was not an easy solution. Susan never talked about suicide, but she talked about her inability to find compassion and understanding in the system. As soon as I heard about her death, I knew she had become another suicide statistic. She leaves behind a daughter, son in law, and two grandchildren she adored.

Susan's psychiatrist was Dr. Rahman.

[Altered Moment]

I am so sorry thickntired. Losing your sponsor that way is a big blow along with all the other stuff you are dealing with. Unfortunately I have know quite a few in AA who committed suicide.

I hope you can find the support and help you need and get through this.