[HolographicTardis]

I'm just sick of everything. I want someone, anyone, to shoot me straight between the eyes. I don't understand what makes me feel this way. There are no outside traumas like abuse, bullying, etc. that should cause me to feel this way. I try to see the school counselor but I never end up going because I feel like a waste of his time. It's impossible for me to talk to anyone about it in person. I self harm frequently but not because it feels good like a way to cope with stress but because I deserve it. I don't know anymore. My brain is just so confusing. Does there have to be something traumatic causing this? Am I just being ridiculous? Sorry for posting crap like this I just don't know what to do...

[sideblinded]

Hi HolographicTardis

I am so sorry that you are having these feelings. Remember that these are just that...feelings. Feelings come and go. I believe that you should not dismiss these feelings. It would be very important to discuss these thoughts with a counselor or a trusted adult. I think that you definitely need to hear that your feelings are worth being heard. A counselor would not think that you are wasting his time. I hear you loud and clear. Please talk with that counselor or a trusted adult as soon as you can. This is not normal thinking.

I wish you only the best.

[HolographicTardis]

Thank you a lot for the advice. 😄

[Factory Poet]

I often feel the same way. One of the hardest things I try to do is to stop myself from thinking negatively about myself. "Negative self talk" reinforces itself. The more you do it, the more the neuropathways that use the negative thinking are reinforced, making it even harder to stop it. However, it makes little sense to say "just stop it" because that is a negative thought too. So like others in this string have shared, recognizing these thought as feelings that come and go is very useful. I would add, recognize that you are not your emotions, they are part of you, but not all of you.

Another thing you might try to do in order to change the neuropathways, is to try to think of some of the positive aspects of yourself. Remember those times when you felt good about yourself, you accomplished something, someone complimented you. And try to hold that feeling as long as you can. This will be difficult in the beginning, because your brain is conditioned to b e negative. The trick is to try to think as many positive thoughts as you think negative thoughts...its called equanimity. Again, it is not easy, but it is necessary.

Loving-kindness.