[octoberpumpkin]

So I'll try to make this short. I got myself all psyched up today to start jogging and I actually went out and jogged around the neighbourhood by myself this morning. So as I'm jogging I'm stopped by this man I've spoken to a few times from the neighbourhood and he asks if I want a jogging buddy. I've been trying to make friends so I accepted and gave him my number

So he texts me pretty much right away and something felt a bit off almost instantly. Why is he texting me right away? If I approached someone to be a jogging buddy, I'd wait until I was ready to jog. But I pushed it aside and texted with him a bit, but my phone is having troubles and I tried telling him that texting is annoying right now. He keeps texting.

He makes a comment about how he's surprised I'm jogging because I look fine and not out of shape. His comment about my body makes me uncomfortable since he is essentially a stranger, but again I push it aside, because I don't want to be an egotistical person who assumes every man is hitting on me. Then he asks me if "my man doesn't mind you texting other men?" This sends out a huge red flag because if it's friendly, why would it matter. At this point I'm trying to end the conversation as politely as possible because I'm just very uncomfortable.

So I see my boyfriend is on facebook on his lunch break so I send him a message about what's going on. He says the guy might just be very upfront with strangers but to be cautious because it is a bit odd. As I'm talking to him, the guy texts me calling me beautiful and telling me how unhappy he is with his girlfriend.

At this point I am vastly uncomfortable and start crying. I text him back that what he said is inappropriate, especially from a stranger, that he's making me uncomfortable, and that I don't want to speak to him anymore. He sends me a few apologies but I am ignoring them.

I've been physically and sexually abused before and this is triggering something in me. I'm so scared now. I'm scared if I go jogging that if he sees me things will escalate and he'll attack me or something. I know he's probably harmless and just a skeez, but I can't help it, I'm scared. One of my cats was scratching his box and it was near the window and I thought he was coming to my home and I freaked out.

I told my boyfriend and he says he'll go jogging with me in the evenings so I'm not alone. He says he'll get me some pepper spray when and if I feel comfortable again going by myself.

I feel so stupid for giving him my number and thinking he could be a new friend. Now I can't go jogging alone and I'm scared and I don't know what to to. I'm just so sad and freaked out right now

Ooh, I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. I used to run a lot when I was younger, before I had arthritis, and I can identify with hearing those inappropriate comments.

The pepper spray is probably a good idea, and it's good that your boyfriend is being supportive.

If anyone tries to tell you that that guy's comments were not inappropriate, I just want to add my voice as a middle-aged woman who's heard a lot of crap throughout the years - they were NOT appropriate. Your gut feeling was totally right. The guy was interested in you, alright, but not in the way you want a jogging buddy to be interested. Plus, the fact that he was so impulsive that he started texting you right away to say all those things is more evidence that you don't want anything to do with him.

I hope this will all die down and that the guy won't bother you any more.

Hugs.

[AzulOscuro]

Hi!
I'm gonna tell you the same. The guy is interested in you.
That's not bad. I understand your fears bc you were abused but trust me, this kind of things happen all the time and it doesn't mean the guy is an abuser.

You did the right thing putting a distance. Why wasting time with someone who makes you uncomfortable. He has to know that you are not interested in him.
I think there are people(example: this guy) who seems to have a 6th sense to smell people who need friends or are friendly or are sensitive towards others and they go straight to their prey.

[Thunder Bow]

Go with your feelings about this, they are leading you in the right direction.

[Luned]

So sorry you can't go running by yourself anymore, I understand, I'd be freaked out, too. It's good that your bf will go running with you from now on. Other than that, maybe there's a running group in the area that you can join?

[H3rmit]

What a creepy guy! Pretty much everything was wrong with what he did. I can see that would be triggering for you as well, given your past. I feel glad for you, however, that you were able to quickly recognize what was going on and not get deeply enmeshed with this jerk.

[octoberpumpkin]

Ugh someone just blamed me and said it was my fault and said I was disrespecting the relationship even though my boyfriend was okay with everything. I know it wasn't my fault but it's still hurtful and frustrating to hear that and I'm just so angry right now

[avlady]

i don't blame you for being angry. this is a jerk. im happy your partner supports you too. i agree with all here, trust your gut feeling, please get away from this person.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by octoberpumpkin

Ugh someone just blamed me and said it was my fault and said I was disrespecting the relationship even though my boyfriend was okay with everything. I know it wasn't my fault but it's still hurtful and frustrating to hear that and I'm just so angry right now

Did someone blame you? why?
Because you wanted to interact with someone or because you were friendly with the guy. I have already heard those kind of remarks and they are so unfair and chauvinist.

[freespirit37]

That guy is being too forward with you. Listen to your instincts. If something feels off, then it is. Block his number and don't talk to him anymore. Good that your boyfriend is going jogging with you in the evenings.