I haven't been on in six months or more, looks like. Anyway, I guess I might need this site again.

Husband came home early today and said he quit his job. His job was the majority of our income and we were doing really well, but he was working 6 or 7 days a week, twelve hours a day, and was barely functioning outside work, so...

I'm just stressing out about it and worrying that we won't be able to achieve our goals.

Pros: We'll actually get to see each other for more than an hour or so each day and he won't be half asleep when we see each other and he'll get more time with the kids and he'll be home so he can help with chores and such, because he wants to be a stay-at-home dad, at least until he starts college next fall, and we won't have to have the kids in daycare.

Cons: HUGE pay cut, can't save up for a house like we were wanting to, won't have the money to get out of the house except for me to work and for groceries, spike in my anxiety levels, and kids love going to "school" as they call it so they'll be wondering about that.

He says I won't have to worry about the house and the kids because he'll take care of that now that he's home, but now my stress levels go up even higher because of guilt over him being home taking care of kids and all that. Before, it was both of us working full-time and we could do daycare and we were okay with bills and everything, able to start saving up a lot, etc...Now I'm kind of freaking out.

I mean, with the job I have now, I'm making a decent amount of money so I could support us, but we'd just have to cut back on a lot of thing, like saving up for our first house and fixing our car. I'm also not sure how my husband thinks he's going to pay for going back to school like he wants to, and I don't know if he's got the ambition to follow through with it even if he can pay for it. But I guess I'll just have to see how he pulls it off...

I guess I just want someone to tell me it's going to be okay...

[Raindropvampire]

It's going to be ok. All you have to do is sit down and figure out a budget. Also it's not like your hubby can't look for another job. There might even be something he can do from home to bring in some money.

Why have guilt over him taking care of the kids and house? If he's not working then that can be his "job" so you both are still working.

Thanks. We've already figured out what we need to drop as far as expenses go, and we have money already saved up, and tax returns are coming up, and we both worked all year (I had three jobs at one point, trying to get us ahead) so we should be okay. He's also already said that if necessary he has a collection of valuable game cards that he can sell if we really need the money. He's happy to be home, where he can relax and he can get the house the way he likes it and he can cook (he loves cooking) and we can start eating healthier because we're paying attention to the food we cook and we're not going to overeat as much...

As for guilt about him taking care of the kids, it's just the way I was taught, and there aren't many stay-at-home dads in my area, so I don't know how other people would react if they knew.

But if he's happier then that's good, I guess. It's just stressful.

The pros outweigh the cons, so I'm sure we'll be fine.

[CosmicRose]

To be honest, I'd much rather be a stay at home parent than a working parent. My dad was a stay at home dad and my mom worked full time, my mom started to resent my dad. My sister was a stay at home parent and her husband worked full time, he started to resent her. This is actually very common these days. If one parent gets to stay home, the other parent starts getting jealous.
Hopefully he does go back to school, but the kids would still need daycare if he does attend classes. Hopefully he also tries to look for a better paying job with better hours so he isn't exhausted all the time when he goes back to work.