[PianogirlPlays]

I really lose it when my husband and I are watching something very nice on TV and he says something that feels judgmental or negative. I feel like it takes away from the program but what really ruins it is that I over react. I may not like him doing that but why let it bother me so much that I can not even continue watching the show. I don't like being robbed of the pleasure of us doing something fun and pleasant together. This has happened many times and I always get upset. I have talked to him about it but he doesn't even realize he is doing it. I tried tonight to get us to find a way out. Like if it happens to have a catch phrase or something to indicate no you are changing the tone here. Haven't figured out the best one yet but it may help. The worst part is I have a lot of trouble stopping being upset. The pain in me gets harder. I think there is a deep history behind this problem . Maybe, the catch phrase will help. Like look for the good!

[jelly-bean]

I think that the catch phrase is a good idea and I hope it helps. If you really feel that there is a problem maybe seeing a counselor would be a good thing for you to do. Fixing the problem would certainly make the time with your husband more pleasant.

[inopes]

It's really good that you have recognised that there is a problem and how it comes about. Has your husband ever asked you why you get so upset?

[PianogirlPlays]

No, but I have struggled for years. I ask myself. I so want the pretty picture of us enjoying life and feeling contented and peaceful with one another. We have had some good times but accepting the things I cannot change would help.

[BLUEDOVE]

This negativity is self-destructive . . .in a sneaky
way. Ask him to try not to judge,becauseee,it hurts
him too,though he doesn't realize it,thus: It is like
sending out a creeper of poison ivy so that it stings
the other,and sting them it may do,but the ROOT
of the poison stays with the sender,because it first
has to arise in his brain,and that's where it hides,
bet he don't feel good about himself,and no wonder.
In short,what he is doing to,and towards others,
he is doing to himself--and who want's to hurt
themselves?

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by PianogirlPlays

I really lose it when my husband and I are watching something very nice on TV and he says something that feels judgmental or negative. I feel like it takes away from the program but what really ruins it is that I over react. I may not like him doing that but why let it bother me so much that I can not even continue watching the show. I don't like being robbed of the pleasure of us doing something fun and pleasant together. This has happened many times and I always get upset. I have talked to him about it but he doesn't even realize he is doing it. I tried tonight to get us to find a way out. Like if it happens to have a catch phrase or something to indicate no you are changing the tone here. Haven't figured out the best one yet but it may help. The worst part is I have a lot of trouble stopping being upset. The pain in me gets harder. I think there is a deep history behind this problem . Maybe, the catch phrase will help. Like look for the good!

I thought I was the only one with this problem! My husband just doesn't get it either. Well, neither do I really.

[KristenRenee]

Hi. I over react to everything. My husband will tell me I am and I feel so stupid for reacting. It's like I can't stop myself before the words come out and then when they do I regret it or feel stupid. I guess acceptance is the answer. Just accept yourself for who you are. If you don't like something about yourself you can try to change it, but it doesn't happen over night. Be patient with yourself and your husband and it will all work out.

[PianogirlPlays]

I read yesterday that time may not heal all wounds but acceptance heals a lot of things.

[avlady]

Acceptance is something that takes time but you have to work at it too.