[Steiner of Thule]

That is what I tend to feel when I see people feeling certain things. A form of disgust I guess. I feel like they don't have the right to feel that way. Or that they aren't feeling that way at all and that they are using emotions to try and manipulate people. Trying to manipulate me. Sometimes it works and I get lured in but then I usually end up hating them because I feel like I've been tricked.

People aren't real and myself, well, I don't know.

[shezbut]

Are you saying that, with your recent outlook upon life, that everyone seems to be making up drama to make you (and other innocent people) feel compassionate towards them?

Is there any type of pattern in what you share with these other few innocent people??

Something to think about & mention to your T. Gentle hugs to you.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by shezbut

Are you saying that, with your recent outlook upon life, that everyone seems to be making up drama to make you (and other innocent people) feel compassionate towards them?

Is there any type of pattern in what you share with these other few innocent people??

Something to think about & mention to your T. Gentle hugs to you.

What innocent people? There are no others because it's just me. There are none like me because everyone is making up stuff. They are all programmed to lie and hurt others. Robotic and fake in nature as if they are all programmed but eventually it becomes very see-through. When I call them out on it they try to make me feel bad for not caring or they will create some other reason depending on what is said. Also part of their program. I steel myself against this because it's just a parting gift on their end. I'll never see them again because that is how it works with these programs.

A lot of times I try to take the time to empty my heart because I know it'll explode if I am caught with a full heart. I remove people mentally before they hurt me so that when they do I am no affected. Emptying the heart is a weird feeling. A very empty feeling for every person I scrap because I'd rather protect myself rather than allow others in for a change for them to hurt me.

Therapists are just like everyone else. They give the same reactions and yet they all try to act like they are something special. All these people saying they are special. People acting as if they are caring and kind.

Even though they aren't.

If you say they aren't special they will agree with you but then.

They lied. They do think they are special but in this case if they disagreed with you it would make them seem silly.

They aren't special.

They become very transparent after awhile and life starts to seem very dull and lifeless. A lack of motivation to get out of bed and just stare up at the ceiling every morning. Avoiding everyone and no longer wanting to be social because it's become boring. Focusing on my diet because it's become more interesting than anything else. I want to eat out of boredom but I don't want to go backwards. It's also boring though. It's so boring and people are so predictable. Drudging along day after day and then I guess I am weird to dislike when people talk about certain things because I feel I can't have that.

The worst are those that try to act like me. Even worse when people say they know how it is to be me. That they can relate.

They don't have the right.