It's almost hard to describe how I feel, but it's often physically painful. I feel like I'm losing my connection with the only person I've ever connected with because of grad school. We're both in grad school, but the difference is, I'm willing to work around school to see him and he's apparently not.

And so I'm left feeling bored, lonely, and unfulfilled. And I just feel like crying all the time. I gave up some commitments so I'd have extra time to pursue other ventures and those all fell apart right before the semester started so now it feels like I have nothing to do. I also don't have other friends because I don't connect with other people. And outside of class, I'm rarely even around other people anymore…most of my work is completely solitary anymore.

I used to be alone all the time and I could cope with feeling lonely, bored, and unfulfilled, so I don't know what the problem is now?

I guess because I seemed to have failed at everything, I have no idea how I'm supposed to ever get a job, and am realizing that it's possible that my current degree means nothing…but if I quit now I'll have absolutely nothing. I'm overqualified to work minimum wage jobs and would have to lie about my education, yet I'm apparently not qualified for anything in my actual field?

It's difficult to expend effort when effort yields little to nothing. The only highlight to my life is having someone I can finally connect to, but that's disappearing. I don't have any other support system and no way to get one. I don't have family who can provide that sort of support and unlike everyone else, I don't have long term friends. Or really no friends as I don't see the point in expending a huge amount of effort for just temporary friendships that aren't even that close.

I'm probably just rambling at this point, but I just can't take it anymore. None of my emotional or intellectual needs are being met and there's nothing I can do.

[sideblinded]

(((I.Am.The.End.)))

Big hugs for you my friend. I am in the same boat! I also do not have a very good support system. I do not have any family at all. I understand your plight very well.
You are not the only one who has no family. I have a few friends who don't keep up with me very often.

You are not rambling, you are just venting. It is ok. I will say that there is hope, though. There is always hope to hang on to.

May I send you a friend request?

Originally Posted by sideblinded

(((I.Am.The.End.)))

Big hugs for you my friend. I am in the same boat! I also do not have a very good support system. I do not have any family at all. I understand your plight very well.
You are not the only one who has no family. I have a few friends who don't keep up with me very often.

You are not rambling, you are just venting. It is ok. I will say that there is hope, though. There is always hope to hang on to.

May I send you a friend request?

Sure, you can send me a friend request. I'll admit that I'm not the best at keeping up with friends as I'm horrible at initiating any sort of contact.

I do have parents and they do help me financially (which I'm thankful for of course) but they are incapable of emotional support and generally made me feel unlovable and that it was my fault for being unlovable. I don't have any friends anymore. I do have a boyfriend who's very supportive, but he's only one guy and is struggling with the same issues. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt him.