[musicformyears]

Hi all.

This thread that I'm going to write will probably be very long so I do appreciate your patience. <3<3<3

I have a friend. I met her through my secondary school days. My friend, L( let's call her L in this thread), met in early 2013. Like me, L didn't have much friends. Anyway, L and I became very close friends and that's when we started to accompany each other during recess. The fact that I got a new friend back then really started a lot of gossips between my schoolmates. The reason was because the year in 2012, I was bullied by many, many people in school for about a year because of the failed friendships that I had in 2010 and 2011, so when I had a new friend in early 2013, there were many people gossiping about us. But we didn't mind. We continued to be friends.

While me and L were friends, this new girl, M (let's call her M in this thread) approached L and soon, all 3 of us became friends. We would go have lunch or recess together...etc. Although L wasn't very nice to me when I was with her right from the start, but, I just tolerated with her because I didn't want to have another failed friendship, so I didn't want to leave.

Sometime in May, the strange thing was that L left M out over a really stupid incident. I tried to convince L, hoping that M would be with us, but L didn't want M to join us, so I had no choice.

L was still quite mean with me while M was away. In July 2013, L suddenly left me for the group of popular girls and I was totally upset. I did everything I could to tolerate her, because I didn't want to have another failed friendship, but in the end, she left????? She told me that she was threatened into joining that group of popular girls in school. I was completely devastated. So I was alone again. But not too long later, M came back and said she wanted to join me for recess so, I wasn't alone for lunch or recess.

M and I were close friends, until in January last year, I had to leave my school for some reasons. I never physically meet M anymore, but we still stay in contact via social media.

In September last year, I got a text from M and in the text, she wrote that she was cried in school. I was shocked and I asked why. I later learned that after I left that school, L was actually kicked out from the group of popular girls due to some issues and L came back to join M, but this time, L brought in another new friend to join them. So there were 3 of them. But, once again, L became so mean and in the end, L and the new friend started to mistreat M, causing M to become distracted in her studies and spending so many nights crying. To make things worse, M, L and the new friend were due to sit for a government exam because they were all graduating and it is a very, very important one, and I'm became worried for M. On top of that, M is still very distracted from her studies because of this problem and she wasn't really studying.

During the exam period, M said that she didn't do so well. She knew the answers to the questions, but she was so nervous that she seemed to screw up.

Today is the day when my friend, M, is going to collect her results for the exam. L and her new friend are also going to collect her results. I lost contact with L and I have never spoken to L's new friend. I'm very worried and I feel guilty. If I didn't make friends with L right from the very start, M wouldn't have befriended L because of me and M wouldn't have gone through all this pain and could probably do better in her studies.

I hope what I had mentioned earlier isn't so confusing. If it is, then I dreadfully sorry. Has anyone been through something similar? How to deal with this guilt and worry? I know that I have no control over M's reaction to this problem, but, I still feel very guilty and worried........

[gayleggg]

Please don't feel guilty. You can change the past and certainly did not mean any harm. You could not have known how things were going to turn out.

As for as the worry, you have to remember that you have no control over the situation and therefore worrying does no good. You have to let go of worrying and just be there when your friend M needs you. Just lend a shoulder, it's the best thing you can do.

[Fuzzybear]

[musicformyears]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Please don't feel guilty. You can change the past and certainly did not mean any harm. You could not have known how things were going to turn out.

As for as the worry, you have to remember that you have no control over the situation and therefore worrying does no good. You have to let go of worrying and just be there when your friend M needs you. Just lend a shoulder, it's the best thing you can do.

Hi Gayleggg,

Thank you so much for your advice. I do appreciate it.

Well, actually, I'd thought of lending her a shoulder or be a listening ear for her...but she doesn't seem interested in staying in contact with me right now...I don't know why. Even if I start a conversation with her, our conversation would always be very short.

Thanks for your advice though. I really do appreciate it. <3