[AnxiousGirl]

I'm 19 and I sent my therapist a really detailed email about some feelings I've been keeping in for my entire life. Ever since then I haven't been able to sleep, eat, or focus on anything but that. My appointment is tomorrow and I'm really getting worked up. I hate that I sent the email, now she knows my weakness and I feel so vulnerable. What do I do?

[gayleggg]

Go to your appointment and know that she is a trained professional and will only use what you have told her to help you.

I was just discussing the issue of using emailing, texting and other social media with therapy. We both agreed that there are some big disadvantages to using these and your situation is one where it backfires. Emailing you therapist things that you regret is a hard thing to recover from. Just know that she has probably heard it all before. She should be a safe person to share with.

Best wished tomorrow regarding your appointment.

[striking]

In this one relationship you are free from your secrets. You can finally discuss them openly and without fear. Where else does this opportunity happen? Have faith in your decision being a good one. Best wishes.

[Frankbtl]

Hi (again !!) AnxiousGirl, and again well done on sending that email!!!
By revealing your weakness, talking about it, looking for/getting support with it means you're taking away some of it's strength over you...........you're going to be loosening its hold over you, taking some of that power back.
And whatever that weakness is, it doesn't need to make you a "worse" person, OK?? It doesn't need to make you feel embarrassed, ashamed, scared to have someone know (someone who should be empathetic and supportive like a T!!) in fact you should be proud of yourself for putting it out there, and taking a stand against it!! Really proud!!!
And like I said you should be able to take talking about it at your own pace, so as much as you're comfortable with.
And remember what you've done (by sending that email), what you'd be doing if/when/as you talk about it, however hard it is for you, is only going to be showing how strong you are not how weak you are.
So.......deep breath and..........congratulate yourself, hey??
Already a really big step on the road to working through this!!!

Alison

[avlady]

yes that is a big step. you need to learn to trust and this could be a beginning. good luck!!!

Hi AnxiousGirl,

You must have had someone/people in your life who reacted badly to your 'vulnerability', or perhaps you witnessed someone else getting hurt when sharing their inner world and thought you'd never risk the same thing happening to you.. I'm really sorry it has had to be this way

The thing is, what you shared with your therapist wouldn't even be considered 'vulnerable' had there not been an incident/experiences in your past that convinced your mind that it is dangerous to share your inner feelings and thoughts. It'd just be you sharing who you are with the world!

My advice would be to tell your therapist what you've told us here - how uncomfortable you've felt after sending her the email and what you fear would happen next. I'm guessing this will tell her more about you than what you actually wrote in the email or have shared with her in person. I'd go so far as to say it'll give her a lot of insight into why you sought her help in the first place.

Also, I don't think she will, but IF she were to react badly to what you shared with her, just know that in that case, she's out of line and you deserve to find yourself another T. Whatever happens, I'd urge you not to give up on therapy just yet - you deserve to become FreeGirl instead of AnxiousGirl, and proper therapy will help you there! Good luck, and let us know how your appointment went