[ebrilia2]

Dear people, I'm feeling ashamed and weird... I know it's absurd to worry so much about this but I can't stop brooding.. ... I'd be happy if you'd like to listen to this for a moment..! Allright, here comes my ridiculous story :

Tonight I texted my best female friend if I could pass by (we live close to each other) to bring her some stuff she left in my house.
She said, better not not now cause she's about to leave with her boyfriend to his house (they are visiting each other very often)
Allright! So i texted her that I'll drop by Wednesday then when she'll be back, wished her lots of fun at her boyfriend's house and told her to send a hug from me to him.
I was in not such a serious mood, wanted to make her laugh or smile with something absurd. So after that text message I sent another one with some dry advice: ''And use a condom''.

She didn't get it...probably she thought it's weird! The rest of the text conversation: (translated into english)
(a few minutes later) Condom?
(me) Yes, advice for in bed. Do it, ok?
(she) Ok :-) sleep well xx
(me) ^^ good night xx


I regret having typed such a silly message...embarrassing. Kidding about ''Use a condom!'' could be misinterpreted as ''childish'' or ''a bit sexually obsessed'' (none of them I am). Maybe she was having a deep conversation with her man, or tired, and then she gets such a meaningless, weird message from me.

She is very special, wise, famous, a genius. (in her late thirties, her boyfriend older, I'm in my mid twenties).
We usually have exact the same kind of humor and like to laugh a lot with each other. But in this case I should have kept my mouth because I still want to be taken seriously in general, and it's a text message which can be misinterpreted (by not hearing and seeing each other's facial expressions and body language). When seeing and hearing each other of course it's different, easier to feel and predict whether it fits to joke around or better not if she's in a different mood, and if it's going to be funny probably or not. I remember f.e. when I was kissing my former lover in front of the guy's room at night, a friend shouted ''Use a condom!!'' to us...

I know it might be ridiculous to worry and analyse about such a small thing...I'm usually self-confident and not worrying so much about possible 'mistakes' in social interactions anymore...But I'm a highly sensitive person and still pretty much a social perfectionist.
This friendship means so much to me, we are soulmates, sisters and recently started to work together as performing & creating artists as well <3 ..I'm not afraid to lose her, I'm sure our friendship will last forever.
But sometimes, like in this moment, I'm just afraid she will change her perception of me, which could change our contact. If it would, even a little bit (like more distance) I'll be sad... because we have this special, wonderful connection.


What do you think about my stupid text message and this context, honestly?? # trying to sleep but worrying instead #

[jelly-bean]

I think you gave her some very good advice and if she is as smart as you think she is she will follow it. Don't worry about showing concern for a friend's well-being.

[unaluna]

I think its fine. We are so bombarded with it from the media, we just mindlessly repeat it almost, but i think it takes on a more endearing meaning then. One time, a few years ago, when the birth control patch was more popular, a coworker hurt her back and asked me to help her apply one of those icy-hot pain patches. So i did, and as i finished patting it in place i said, "you can go have sex now!" Because all of a sudden it just looked like a huge birth control patch, and the comment was out of my mouth before i could stop it! We were both shocked, then we both started laughing i hope it works out for you and your friend too.

[divine1966]

If you feel weird tell her of text that you meant nothing by it and it was just a joke.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[avlady]

yes, you should just tell her it was a joke, hopefully she will understand. It sounds like you are great friends so i wouldn't worry about it, she probably has already forgotten about it or forgiven you too.

[PianogirlPlays]

Been there and done joking things and I have decided that I won't again because of the after fear. I am sure your friend will stay your friend and understand if you say sorry but for myself I am avoiding especially printed humor.

[Frankbtl]

Hi ebrilia, welcome to PC!!!
I'd say that unless she is generally quite uncomfortable talking about anything of a sexual nature then you're fine
If she is generally uncomfortable, then just send her a text saying you hope she wasn't offended by the message about the condom, that you were just joking and sorry if it did offend her.
But if she isn't that kind of a person then.......you're fine!!! She could take it as a joke; as a semi joke/semi caring comment; as a friendly concern; as a casual reminder from a friend.............but in this case however she interpreted it her reply seems positive/friendly/good natured. Nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.
Alison

[BLUEDOVE]

I think it MAY have been inappropriate for such a
VERY personal act. You could say: 'On reflection,
I think that text may have been inappropriate,are we still OK? '