Don't know why I try

Really.

It's sad I guess. Some things I just can't not hate.

Like people who complain about being alone.

**** YOU.

Or people who are two faced

YEAH GO **** OFF NOW.

PEOPLE WHO STAB ME IN THE BACK. PEOPLE WHO EXPECT MY HELP- I don't understand it. A mess. A big mess.

I am very tired. Very very tired of everyone. I have a lot of bad thoughts-

I'm so tired of everyone.

I try to be nice. I try to function. Then they metaphorically SPIT IN MY FACE.

I'm practically done.

I'm done with being told I am a bad person. With being told I am heartless. That I am strange. That I am demented. That I am weird. That I am gross. That I am disgusting. Ugly. That I am wrong.

I am tormented. Everyone has played a part in it.

Tired of the games. Should I just play the role of the villain at this point. It's almost like I should learn to get pleasure from hurting others. What does being nice get me. Friendless and alone and told that I suck at being a person. A vicious whirlwind and people love to shove the things that hurt me right in my face. My self-esteem torn asunder.

I am me.

I'm bad at being nice. It's like that line from Wreck-it-Ralph.

"I'm bad and that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There is no one I'd rather be than me."

Guess I'd rather have a handful of real friends than too many to count shallow encounters. Sometimes it's easier to just expect others to disappoint than to expect the opposite and be disappointed more than if you didn't expect.
Sounds like whoever it was/is really got under your skin.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

I don't even have a handful of friends. I know to expect disappointment. I always expect it. Hell I always try to predict when it will happen. No one got under my skin except for me.

Thule, I'd like to think you can always count on me as a friend. Like, seriously. No ********. Message me, and I'll reply. If I don't, I'm asleep and my phone is the first thing I check when I wake up.
I've never seen you say or do remotely be anything that would imply you're 'wrong' by your definition.
Remember that this is an illness and it wants to alienate you and distort your thinking. You are better than those thoughts. ((hugs))

"For there to be pain, there has to be kindness. For darkness to stand out, there has to be the sun." - Fruits Basket

I think you are nice. You make this place that much more pleasant whenever I see your username online.

Yes, you can be you. But you don't have to be bad (or good) if you don't want to. We are never entirely good or entirely bad. We just are.

You are not wrong. You are you. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to be.

Perhaps, I am just me.

Steiner,

I have never thought of you as a bad person or doing wrong/bad things. You've always been very supportive of me since the day I met you. You can always message me if you want to chat, and know that I disagree strongly with all those things that people are saying to you. You know, if you're always around people who put you down, you start to believe it. Don't you believe it. You are a good, kind person.

I hope you feel better and are able to feel some hope again.

Seesaw