[froggygirl]

I hate crying, always have and always will. I'd rather be horribly sick from top to bottom than cry, especially cry in front of others. I am independent, insecure, and self reliant to the point I'd rather cut my arm off than ask for help. I know this isn't healthy but after years of hiding my true self, pain and all, I conditioned myself to not cry and to stifle my emotions.

However, now that I am finally to a place in my life where I need the release of a hard cry. I just CAN'T! I get teary eyed but my body shuts it down. Even though I want and need to cry before I explode I can't and it is killing me. I haven't had a real cry in over a year.

Any suggestions or am I SOL?

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi froggygirl

Yes, I don't like crying either.

I can understand this.

As for crying in front of others? Me personally? No thanks. I hate it.

Yes, I hear your need for independence from others.

But yes you yourself have admitted that this is not healthy; hiding your true self and your pain; conditioning yourself not to cry - it is supressing what is happening beneath the surface.

And I would imagine that this does not always feel comfortable.

Freedom.

Release.

Fear of rejection.

Fear from being judged by others.

Learning to forgive ourselves.

These are some of the skills we need to work on focusing on.

I would not say that you are stuck for life with an inablility to cry ever again, no.

But I think that you have supressed a lot.

Have you ever received support in real life to address how to stop supressing your emotions for lack of judgment from others?

Thing is, when I have cried in front of people; it has been so few and far between sort of if that makes sense. No, I didn't like doing it at the time; I mean well it is showing other people a vulnerable side of you.

But there has to be a better way of you managing your emotions than blocking everything out?

Which is why I'd be suggesting you consider the option of therapy, if you have not already done so.

[froggygirl]

It isn't judgement so much as distrust that if I let others see my weaknesses they will use them against me (it has happened in the past). I don't want my Achilles heel made public. I have sought counseling before, but it was the same thing my body shut down on crying.

[Thunder Bow]

Maybe your body feels it just does not need that kind of cry any more. The mind and body is connected.