[AnxiousGirl]

I'm 19 and I've been seeing a psychologist for about 9 months. I know this is a long time and I should already be comfortable to share things with her but that's not the case. I'm already a REALLY shy and reserved person as it is and it takes me a LONG time to warm up to anyone. I've been having a lot of anxiety before every session, and unfortunately I have one today in like 3 hours. I dont want to go, I dont want to discuss personal matter with a stranger. Usually I just answer like one word answers to what she asks me. Luckily she's really patient and knows that I'm shy and has told me that i've come a long way from where I started.

So I guess what I'm asking is, is it normal for it to take this long to still warm up to a therapist? Should I just quit? I dont want to because in some aspects it has helped a lot.

What should I do?

[baseline]

Dear ASG, I can relate to your feelings about anxiety prior to sessions. It's been a year for me and I still get anxious. My T says its because I'm afraid to "stir the pot" if you will. I agree at times with that analogy. It has gotten easier for me. There were many times I did not want to go but felt better afterwards. I am shy and reserved also, I was also fearful of judgement. We discussed these feelings and it did help. I can honestly say after a year I am making progress and I hope you will too. In answer to you question it took me awhile to warm up and to confide in myT. I stayed because he is professional and caring. Good luck honey and keep up the good work!

[palerefraction]

I guarantee you would not be the first person in that office to cry. maybe start with telling your t that you feel uncomfortable crying, and that's why you're struggling. she can't help you unless she knows!

[in-denial]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

I'm 19 and I've been seeing a psychologist for 8 months. I was diagnosed with CBT. I'm a really shy and reserved person so it's been really hard to open up to her. She's really sweet and caring but I can't open up to her no matter how hard I try. I mean she told me I have made progress in that sense since when I first started seeing her but now I just feel stuck. I want to be able to express myself freely in the sessions without the fear of being judged or the fear of crying. I just got back from my session today and I feel horrible, mad enough to punch a wall. I was so quiet and not even focused as to what was going on because I had SO much on my mind that I couldn't even tell her about. She said we can use emailing as a tool but I dont want to bother her with that, and also the topic I want to tell her is extremely sensitive so email or no email, ill just end up crying if we talk about it next time.

Now I just feel horrible about everything that happened today and I just want to quit already. Im so fed up.

Sorry for the long read, and thank you for those who took time to answer !

Have you tried journaling when you want to talk, saving the notes and then bringing them to the meeting? I can only suggest what has worked for me in the past.

[PinYoda]

I have that same exact issue. I can't talk about myself without blubbering because I feel as if I'm being insensitive by talking about myself. The few that I do talk about me to, know to not take my crying personally. They are used to it. I suggest writing down what you want to talk about or whatever and write in there that you might cry. That way she'll know what's going on.

Plus, they are pretty used to it. If anything they will give you a tissue. I'm always angry after a session.

[Thunder Bow]

What you are experiencing is normal. Keep going, it shows you are healing.

[bonnie44]

have you expressed your feeling to you T? it can be very important for your therapy. Anyway consider the progress you've made and don't think in numbers: it's 9 months, so i should be able to.... there are no general rules as for therapy.
as long as you feel better and improving, than it is good for you. Don't you agree?

[Crazy Hitch]

(((AnxiousGirl)))

Please don't quit therapy.

You have a wonderful therapist, you really do.

I know first hand from personal experience how difficult therapy can be.

Sometimes it really does take us a while to warm up to therapist, it really does.

And you are processing alot of things right now.

Please forgive yourself.



Hang in there.

[Smellyfinger]

I experience the same thing. It takes me quite a while to fully open up to my pdoc. I force myself to take notes on my concerns and bring them up at my next appointment. Once you open up the first time it gets much easier. Recently I confessed to hearing voices which I've been hiding for a while. Huge weight off my shoulders.

I get this too. It does get easier with time and as you feel more comfortable with your t.

[kray_bray_may]

Originally Posted by PinYoda

I'm always angry after a session.

Yessss this!

[kray_bray_may]

The last few steps into my counselor's office were the most difficult. I'd stretch out every moment - taking off and hanging up my coat slowly, slinging off my backpack leisurely etc.
I attended sessions semi-regularly with him over five months last year then gave up about five months ago. For me it was sometimes downright terrifying and extremely embarrassing confessing some things and he only once gave me actually useful advice.

[Butternut]

Sometimes it's the connection, of course you see the great in her but does she connect with you?

Of course don't stop therapy but maybe find someone else that you can open too.

You wouldn't go to anyone in highschool and talk about your feelings too, you'd go to a friend that connects with you.

When I saw a theripist I felt comfortable talking about everything in my life besides my relationship between my husband and I.

You should feel comfortable and there our others out there that may connect with you.

[kray_bray_may]

Originally Posted by Butternut

Sometimes it's the connection...You should feel comfortable and there our others out there that may connect with you.

What about those cases where one is reluctant to find any new counselor because of a discouraging experience

[Butternut]

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

What about those cases where one is reluctant to find any new counselor because of a discouraging experience

I think thats a feeling to fight like the anxeity you have before walking into the office. It takes time.

My brother in-law went to five different theripist until he found the one he felt very comfortable with. He saw him for about a year and now he's off is meds and the most postive person i know, its been 3 years.

[kray_bray_may]

Originally Posted by Butternut

I think thats a feeling to fight like the anxeity you have before walking into the office. It takes time.

My brother in-law went to five different theripist until he found the one he felt very comfortable with. He saw him for about a year and now he's off is meds and the most postive person i know, its been 3 years.

Extreme embarassment is a feeling to fight? Should it not be easier?

[RisuNeko]

I've had reluctance to restart therapy after having bad experiences with my first three therapists, but I think I've finally found a pretty good therapist who fits my style and what I want to do and seems to get me.