[bqm12]

I've been feeling a lot lately. Once when I think things are getting better, something comes tumbling down. I've been unhappy, sad and constantly crying. It's taking a toll on me.

Everything seemed good. My school life was stable, my job was relaxing and I've been having a good relationship.

Negative thoughts in my head floated here and there once in awhile. About me, and my life. It was simply floating in my head. How much of me did I like? I've realized that the life I have now was me just coping with it. It wasn't at all what I wanted. I would ignore that because everything was...OK.

Dramatically did that change. After learning that I was pregnant, I became weirdly sad. Not because I didn't want the baby but because my life was not mine. After stressing for a long time about how I will keep the baby in good health...it was soon after I hit tragedy.

I miscarried. I wept and cried for days. I was full of anger towards myself. I thought once again, how much of me did I like? I knew then that I didn't like anything. I've began to hate myself and thought I was better off dead.

Soon school came crashing down, followed by several abscesses at work and my relationship with my boyfriend became distant.

There is a an increasing pain in my chest, as if my heart is being squeezed. It grows and grows. I feel like I lost all happiness in my life. At times I feel OK but emotions stir up and I began to feel the pain in my chest.

I feel like it was my miscarriage that triggered everything that was hiding inside and now I'm lost, confused, in pain and unhappy.

[CANDC]

Sorry you are feeling lost, confused, in pain and unhappy. It might be time for professional help like a therapist or a psychiatrist.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. For me protein is essential to mood stability. A high protein some naturally raise chicken or fish (mostly soy, yogurt, scrambled eggs (no flipping - i cut out some or all of yolk) low carb diet with snacks (roasted cashews, sauteed tofu) or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central. These could raise your energy level but that may not be the problem. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.