Dark thoughts and feelings

I was going to copy paste most f what I just posted in the intro forum, but apparently it doesn't show up right away, so I'll try to recall everything again.
Well, basically I've been dealing with these feelings on and off for a while.
Maybe it's a natural occurance as you get older and start caring less of what others think and start caring more about trying to correct the errors of the world. Perhaps I'm just getting overly frustrated with how things are and feeling powerless to change them.
But either way, I've come to the realization that I need to little 'mischievous' things to quench these inner feelings, otherwise I might do something worse (I was a big fan of the show 'Dexter'). Hence my profile name. I've always been a secretive person. An example of these 'mischievous' actions would be simply having a secret to myself; whether it's sneaking a bite of something I should'nt be eating, or a puff of a cigarette, sneaking a mark of vandalism/graffiti or something other small slight against someone who I'm annoyed with. I came to this realization a few weeks ago when I did something when in a fould mood about something. I started this profile several days ago and haven't really had the time to post since then. I used to do a bit of this back when I used to smoke and drink regularly, several years back I gave up smoking, drugs and heavy drinking. I attributed these actions to my intoxicated self, but have realized that these feelings and thoughts occur naturally anyway while sober. I've always considered myself a fairly good person, moralistic and such, but perhaps I'm not afterall? I guess I really get upset when I see people being thoughtlessly wasteful, or greedy and selfish and hurtful towards others.I guess my inner vigilante gets triggered, I get angry when said justice is not properly doled out. These little mischievous things I guess are a new found outlet of mine I suppose.

Yet it sounds like your actions are from a good place, even if they are mischievous? Hence, not defining you as a good or bad person.

Yeah, most of my 'mischievous' actions are just self destructive- the few times they affect others I always feel bad- except for when I posted this I guess . . .? I don't know, I think I dissaciate sometimes.

Ugh, I'm so tired of people- today really got to me.
All the people who get by doing nothing and leaving the hard work for everyone else
And we slip up and we get the rathe and they
Never have any ****ing consequences.
More and more lately I wish I could just be an
Assassin and kill all the selfish and greedy people who abuse others or ravage the earth for their own monetary gains and just mistreat
or manipulate others for their own end- all the bad people out there-
The fact that they go on living just pisses me the **** off! ��
I'm also frustrated that I don't have the means to help out more to the less fortunate

I can so relate to your post OP. I can't tell you how many times I've actually wanted to become a vigilante serial killer like Dexter to take out all of the trash in this screwed up world and throw them in the ocean like he does so they can sleep with the fishies.

Unfortunately, it's getting much harder to get away with murder due to advances in forensics

In fact, literally the only thing stopping me is my fear of spending the rest of my life in prison.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you're thinking. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise

Beware of the "Ain't It Awful" syndrome. Cranking on that that kind of stuff will blind you, and make you even more angry. Most who use Ain't It Awful, are re-enforcing angry feelings from early childhood. Best to seek professional help if you are OCD with the "Ain't It Awful" way of thinking. A Therapist can help you get to the root of your angry feelings.