Overemotional

I have extreme, intense emotions very frequently. All the healthy coping skills I've learned over the years go out the window when I am feeling so strongly.

I have no control over myself, and I've got to hold it together for the sake of my family. I can't always excuse myself to go cry, and I hate that it happens at the drop of a hat, any perceived slight, and the tears overflow and I feel sick and ashamed, especially afterward.

"Just put on a smile and fake being happy," I'm told. I try to do that for the sake of everyone else around me, but sometimes that's not possible for me.

I hate being such an emotional person. I truly am a wreck and an embarrassment to my family and myself.

I scream and rage and sob and throw things and slam doors and stomp like a child. Everywhere I've lived, the neighbors hear and witness me freaking out. At the time, I don't care who knows, but then after I will be so ashamed.

But I'm mostly concerned for those living with me. Throughout my life, I have become a walking, ticking time bomb. Something will set me off; a memory, an imagined or real insult, an injustice, really anything, and then the emotions need a release and I
become hysterical in the process.

I'm scared of myself. Scared I'm going to lose everything if I don't get a handle on this.

Any suggestions on how to hold back emotions in situations where it's not appropriate to release them? Or can anyone relate?

Yes I can relate to a degree.

I experience every emotion very intensely. My negative ones typically don't last. I experience intense pain and then it's gone, I am not prone to depression and my intense negative feelings feel like anxiety and panic, my positive emotions are very intense too and last way longer.

My t says I do exhibit mild symptoms of bipolar or at least cyclothymia as many of my positive symptoms are very hypomanic in nature. She believes though it's not intense enough to be diagnosed and don't need to be at this point . She says it could be traits of bipolar that both me and my brother inherited from our dad and could be just how we are personality wise. We are all very intense people.

Now my t also says that we can't control what we feel but we can control what we do. Some things she suggests is living busy life style not having too much idle time maintaining healthy hobbies exercise eat healthy spend time With friends do fun funny things like distracting movies or books maintain social life etc etc

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You are behaving this way for a reason. Getting into therapy could be very beneficial. Keeping a journal might help, also.

Do not feel ashamed of yourself or scolded for expressing your anger and feelings. Take care of yourself more, and worry less about those living around you. Look at yourself as being normal with your feelings. I mean, just look at the tantrums those professional athletes throw on TV ! You do not have to do things to make yourself feel bad.