[Komfortable]

I'm going to leave my girlfriend.

We have been together for 2 1/2 years, but I think it's time.
I'm no longer attracted to her
We have grown apart
She is constantly distracted by her phone
I am distracted by my aquarium
She wants to get married and have kids asap, I don't
I have found myself attracted to another woman
I've cheated on her (with the aforementioned woman, 7 years my junior)
It's time to man up and do it.

I'm ready to do it, but it's scary. We live together, in a house we picked out together, with our two dogs. Our families are compatible. We used to get along so well. Somewhere, though, something changed. We started fighting, our sex life went to pot (see: nonexistant), and tv/Facebook became a priority. I've utterly lost interest and have no interest in fixing it. She's neurotypical and has a really hard time dealing with my BPD which leads to more fights. I've been married once before and divorced, so I'm equipped to handle the stress, but I know it's going to be tough. There are no guarantees. The woman I have been seeing is amazing and supportive and is here for me...for now. I don't know if it's a serious thing or a fling or what, but it makes me happy and keeps my moods a little more stable.

I'm going to move out Saturday. Wish me luck.

[Komfortable]

Things got bumped up. The car is almost packed, new place is almost ready. Time to move. This is very stressful. Leaving a stable home for the great unknown. I'd stay if I could see a chance of being happy here again, but that doesn't look possible.

Had a full on panic attack a while ago and couldn't function for quite a while. My mom drove here from an hour away after I asked her not to, and tried to guilt me into staying. I refused, and I think she may not speak to me for a while now. Good work.

I don't know what to do now.

[kindachaotic]

Unless you two are willing to go to couples counseling it's probably time to move on with your life, single for now.

[divine1966]

I hear you. I left my live in BF last year. We've been together for almost 9 years. It was brutal. Moving and all. He was so devastated that ended up in a hospital.
But my life is so much better and I am my happier person now

Good luck. It will get better

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[Komfortable]

Thanks, guys. It feels weird to be in a tiny room in a house that doesn't feel like home. Haven't been single in 7 years (minus like 2 months a couple years ago).

[divine1966]

Hang in there. This past year was the first year in my life I lived alone and I am almost 50. I thought I would hate it but nope. I love it! Give it time

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[KathyM]

Your mom should be able to survive this ordeal. It's your life, not hers. I was devastated when I found out my son and his gf of 3 yrs had broken up. I SO wanted her to be my daughter-in-law and believed she was perfect for him. I was angry because I knew how much she loved my son, and I felt her pain. But if they would have stayed together just to please me, BOTH of them would have been miserable.

My son has moved on and is content with his decision. She found someone else who treats her well and she appears to be happy.

Good luck on your move.

[divine1966]

My whole family had very hard time with me leaving my ex. His family was upset too but accepted it. Overall i agree it's your life. I'd never want my daughter to stay with someone to please me. Your mom will get over it

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[Komfortable]

Mom seems better today. I just don't understand the hostility from yesterday. Doesn't she want her son to be happy?

[KathyM]

She had become connected to the relationship, looking forward to inheriting a daughter and having grandchildren in the near future. If this is the case, that is her dream you've crushed. It will take a little time for her to catch her breath and realize what she wants most is for YOU to be happy.

She might also be worried you could be stepping into the flame from the frying pan. It's nice that she worries about you, but at this point in your life she can't prevent you from moving forward and/or making mistakes in life.

[Komfortable]

#mindblown, kathym. It makes a lot of sence now!