[sara13]

Hello everyone
So, as the title says, I'm here because of my best friend.
We've know each other for many many years, we grew up together and we're super close. She tells me everything that's going on in her life and we're not ashamed to talk about anything (such as sexuality etc..)
One thing she tells me many times is that when she was little she used to be abused by her father. Nothing sexual, he would "just" hit her; the same was for her mother and her grandma, who usually abused her verbally.
So basically she grew up in a very complicated family situation, there were also multiple cheatings in her parents' marriage.
Now, she's always been a hothead.. you know, getting angry easily, flipping out for stupid reasons, that kind of stuff...
I never gave it much thought, I figured that was just who she was, but when she started telling me about her abusive father I started to realise that her behaviour had deeper roots.
Lately things have been really difficult to handle, she began hitting her grandma and her mother (her parents are now divorced and the father is leaving with another woman, who has kids)
She says she feels guilty about it, but that whenever the two women say something slightly offensive to her she just can handle it and she becomes really aggressive.
She thinks is because she grew up in a home where violence was common and that she's also obessesed with the idea that everyone is trying to hurt her. She's also consider herself to be a failure and she's scared of becoming like her father.
The only people she has hit are her grandma and her mother, she actually made them cry, but she's never laid a finger on anyone else outside her family. Most of the time she's able to handle herself, like at school, but I can see how she's always a step closer to bursting out every time.
I wish I could help her but the only solution I can come up is that she should see a therapist, do you have any advice?
I forgot to mention that we're seventeen

Thank you and wish the best to you all

PS: Sorry for any mistake, english is not my first language

[CANDC]

sara, you do fine with English. As good as many native speakers.

Sorry about your friend. The pattern is that the abused become abusers. That is a shame but that is the pattern.

There is a way out but your friend needs to want to change. No one can make someone change if they do not want to. A therapist could help, especially one specializing in abuse.

If this is too big a step, here are some articles you might send to your friend and see if she really reaches out to them.
Psych Central - Search results for Anger management

Best wishes to you.

[Sober4life]

Your friend needs to see a therapist
Usually I would recommend a self help book but in your friends case I wouldn't