[Yismymindblank12]

I don't have any words to say, I'm still in shock. I could call him now to have him come over, but I don't believe it. I love him as a brother, I can't believe he's gone.
He helped me through so much **** and he and I ended on bad terms cussing me out telling me to **** off and now he's dead from his heart giving out and not able to being revived. It shouldn't had been him...

That sucks man It seems like the shittiest people live long happy lives, yet the few nice people that exist are the ones that needlessly suffer and die most of the time.

PM me if you need somebody to talk to.

[Dog on a Tree]

Gosh, i'm soo sorry to hear about your loss. You know, falling outs happen but that doesn't reflect on the friendship you both shared, the love and how much you both cared for each other. Please take care and take each day as it comes.

[divine1966]

Oh man it's so sad. Sorry for your loss. I lost my childhood friends to cancer this summer. It's hard

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[iwonderaboutstuff]

How awful ((((((((HUGS))))))) The great thing about best friends is you can say **** off and still call after to have them come over; please don't let that last interaction eat at you

[Yismymindblank12]

I still can't believe there is a memorial service Saturday for him...

[(JD)]

It's so difficult when we lose someone. Can you make the service?

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by (JD)

It's so difficult when we lose someone. Can you make the service?

Yeah definitely. I made sure I'm off work then.it was like two years ago or three years ago we were at his house playing halo 4 and gears of war 3. Partying, jamming out together, him helping me with my exes and him having a baby boy I was baby sitting once before. I met him at 15 in a mental health group out patient therapy. He died at 24, but he was like 17 at the time.
My mom and my sister loved having him over he was over at my place all the time. We always talked about girls video games and normal teenage guy stuff. He supported me coming out transgender when I was afraid he would be judgemental. Like he did piss me off alot for hitting on underage girls or girls while he was dating them being really trashy, even when it was rude or embarrassing everyone knew he wasn't a bad person. He was misguided, but not a bad person at heart or friend. Definitely the most loyal recent close friends. I'm angry at myself because I feel our time was just completely cutoff and I badly miss him. His family and mine too loved me and him like we always lived there.

Like I ****ing miss him and this is not leaving my mind anytime soon. I needed a friend to be around alot like I did with him and previous close friends. He was loves by alot of people even when he burnt bridges. I'm sad because he thought no one loved him and it wasn't true. He made a lit of mistakes especially with his ex and baby mama. His son is old enough to know he's gone and I'm heartbroken for the boy and his ex. Like this wasn't something he could of prevented. It feels like two months ago we talked and not ever guessed he be dead from a collapsed heart. Too young... Like he of all people should of deserves the best life has to offer and how he made it.
I've been very angry at work because I miss him more than alot.

[silent_runner]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

[Nimitri]

If you are so angry, it means that even when he cussed you, your relationship never turned sour. Love is not only uphill and for what I read about him, being furious in a moment was not even worth considering compared to your friendship.

Maybe having this feelings inside your head like a repeat can be harming you or simply creating a never ending circle. Why don't you try writing it with pen and paper? And put in every LINE and with every MOVEMENT all the ****ing hate, anger, resentment against the unfairness of life into it. And then when you are finished, burn it and imagine is all you anger that fuels the flame. And if you need it, do it again about the same or another feelings you have about it.

And you are right, many times life is unfair. It takes what we love the most when it leaves terrible people in here with us, but remember: his son is still here. You can be there for his son, to take his mantle and be the figure he can count with. With him your friend still lives and he would have wanted for you to be with what he loves the most.

[SCP-122]

That's awful! That's gotta be so hard. I too have seen good people go and others who are so selfish get to go on.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by Nimitri

If you are so angry, it means that even when he cussed you, your relationship never turned sour. Love is not only uphill and for what I read about him, being furious in a moment was not even worth considering compared to your friendship.

Maybe having this feelings inside your head like a repeat can be harming you or simply creating a never ending circle. Why don't you try writing it with pen and paper? And put in every LINE and with every MOVEMENT all the ****ing hate, anger, resentment against the unfairness of life into it. And then when you are finished, burn it and imagine is all you anger that fuels the flame. And if you need it, do it again about the same or another feelings you have about it.

And you are right, many times life is unfair. It takes what we love the most when it leaves terrible people in here with us, but remember: his son is still here. You can be there for his son, to take his mantle and be the figure he can count with. With him your friend still lives and he would have wanted for you to be with what he loves the most.

I won't see his son often. His ex and mother of his child lives some ways from me and if I run into him. I do enjoy time to see him like I do with my friend. Instead, I'm going to do well in music for him I know that's what he wants for me when I told him about my dreams and he's going to live on in my music. I badly miss him.

[usehername]

Originally Posted by Yismymindblank12

Yeah definitely. I made sure I'm off work then.it was like two years ago or three years ago we were at his house playing halo 4 and gears of war 3. Partying, jamming out together, him helping me with my exes and him having a baby boy I was baby sitting once before. I met him at 15 in a mental health group out patient therapy. He died at 24, but he was like 17 at the time.
My mom and my sister loved having him over he was over at my place all the time. We always talked about girls video games and normal teenage guy stuff. He supported me coming out transgender when I was afraid he would be judgemental. Like he did piss me off alot for hitting on underage girls or girls while he was dating them being really trashy, even when it was rude or embarrassing everyone knew he wasn't a bad person. He was misguided, but not a bad person at heart or friend. Definitely the most loyal recent close friends. I'm angry at myself because I feel our time was just completely cutoff and I badly miss him. His family and mine too loved me and him like we always lived there.

Like I ****ing miss him and this is not leaving my mind anytime soon. I needed a friend to be around alot like I did with him and previous close friends. He was loves by alot of people even when he burnt bridges. I'm sad because he thought no one loved him and it wasn't true. He made a lit of mistakes especially with his ex and baby mama. His son is old enough to know he's gone and I'm heartbroken for the boy and his ex. Like this wasn't something he could of prevented. It feels like two months ago we talked and not ever guessed he be dead from a collapsed heart. Too young... Like he of all people should of deserves the best life has to offer and how he made it.
I've been very angry at work because I miss him more than alot.

It's good that you're getting your feelings out somewhere. Burying them only hurts you. I lost my best friend in November, and I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I'm not convinced. There is nothing as hard as losing the person closest to you. It's a terrible event, and I wish it never happened to you two. I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel you. Pm me if you need to talk. I'm here.

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