[pinkvilla]

My mother is a narcissist and recently I have been trying to keep away from her.I usually call her only once a week and Saturday noon is usually the time I call her,since she lives in another country.Today due to daylight savings time,I forgot to call an hour earlier.My father tried to call me and I couldn't pick up the phone right away but I did call back within 10 minutes. I can understand his concern and apologized.
Then my mom got on the phone and asked me if I had any sense in me at all since she was worried. She seemed angry but I just can't let go of her words.She always makes me feel so worthless with her words.I hate talking to her. Am I overreacting??

[detfan4life]

Well, it definitely doesn't sound to me like you're over-reacting. I think that once you've apologized for a minor slight, it can be put to rest. That being said, your feelings are still valid even if you were to be over-reacting...and when you feel awful, it's difficult whether you've reacted appropriately or not.

You may not be able to change how your mother feels, but you can try to adjust how you let this impact you. You are NOT worthless and you deserve all the care and consideration in the world. If she makes you feel worthless and you hate talking to her, are you thinking about changing the situation at all?

[pinkvilla]

Thanks for the reply.I was feeling bad about it since I am just starting to pay attention to my feelings. No contact with her will be an ideal option but am too much of a dutiful daughter to do it.But am very careful in setting boundaries recently. Just wasn't expecting this on the phone call I suppose.

Originally Posted by detfan4life

Well, it definitely doesn't sound to me like you're over-reacting. I think that once you've apologized for a minor slight, it can be put to rest. That being said, your feelings are still valid even if you were to be over-reacting...and when you feel awful, it's difficult whether you've reacted appropriately or not.

You may not be able to change how your mother feels, but you can try to adjust how you let this impact you. You are NOT worthless and you deserve all the care and consideration in the world. If she makes you feel worthless and you hate talking to her, are you thinking about changing the situation at all?

[nicoleflynn]

The Verbally abusive relationship by Patricia Evans can help.

I have an alternate viewpoint here..

While yes her being abusive to you is a major issue, I have a bit of sympathy for her position. 1. You have identified yourself as having depression 2. You have indicated your calls are regular like clock work. I then kind of see how she would be worried when you didn't call during the regular time.

Still no excuse for beating you up for it.

I know my family members freak out with worry if I don't immediately respond to their calls and texts. I've pointed out that I have a life, that I could be indesposed when they called. Yet, they still get overly worried to the point their own anxiety is over the top.

[emijec]

I have u tried email ? or correspondence through snail mail? u can keep in contact but it shouldn't consume you emotionally, u have to take care if you. is there a way u can call when you're doing something else so u can quickly end the call if u have to ?