[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Title starts it off. And the more I think about it the more it's true.

I was in another site and found the following quotes that sparked my most recent trip along these thoughts. I've seen posts from this person: she's an Aspergers patient and a genius in almost everything she touches. She's not yet 30 but has already held multiple high level positions and has an interminable list of accomplishments. She's the sort of person who makes people realize how worthless they are due to being basically perfect, and I agree with her outlook because I'm the sort of person it's aimed at.

I also marked the things that stood out to me.

I've been told lately that people like me because I don't sugar coat things. If you ask me something, I'll give you a straight answer even if it means hurting your feelings. I don't care. If you ask me for something, expect the truth. If you are terrible at something, I will tell you that. Everyone is much too concerned about the feelings of others. Yes, your hair looks horrible. You are incompetent. You shouldn't be doing that. Et cetera ad nauseam.

Get over yourselves. Most people are the pinnacle of mediocrity and will never be anything better than what they are. They don't want to be because they would try otherwise. They just fantasize and ***** about it instead. Get off the feelz train; it's not doing much good. People are still starving or homeless or plagued, but we have our safe spaces and political correctness to fall back on.

A few posts later:

Without being told we are wrong, how can we become better? If I am wrong, I want to be told I am wrong provided someone else isn't just being narcissistic. Correct the spelling mistakes on the child's test, tell them they have poor sentence structure, don't normalize poor work habits, provide structure but allow for creativity. Stop giving everyone a trophy just for showing up. You aren't special just for existing. Stop caring so much about how people feel. The world doesn't revolve around the emotions of others. You can't please everyone. Eventually, you'll run into two groups with contradicting views that cannot be appeased. It is not our job to appease people.

In order to grow, the current state must be acknowledged and seen as less than what is wanted. It might be terrible or it might just be alright, but there is always room for improvement. You can always strive for perfection even though it is not always attainable. You can always get closer. Why can we not be the best we can be? Because we don't know how bad we really are because people are too afraid of the emotional backlashSuck it up, people. Strive. Be better. Achieve for your own self worth.

I'm guilty of fantasizing of being better and not going anything. Because I know I can't I know I'm nothing but a worthless failure and anything I do or create will be awful. I know I'm awful. There's no point in trying because there will never be any reward, just mistakes and failure, further proving what a waste of space I am. I can't achieve for my own self worth because nothing will ever be good enough to warrant self-worth. Everything will be terrible, and the only way I could remotely enjoy what I'm doing is to shield of from criticism, never share or express because it will never be good enough, and that's the way I should see it.

Sure, you can get closer, but you're never allowed to be proud of your improvement, because it can always be criticized and there's always someone better.

So I see no reason to try anything. I have poor work habits, partly because there's nothing to work on that I won't just pointlessly fail at, and because it's useless by itself.

A genius has spoken, and I am garbage with no way out.

Oh, and I know that anything that criticizes this person and their views, and that encourages me and makes me feel better is just a lot of idiot sugarcoating (incidentally, the topic of the thread these posts came from), and confirmation bias on my part. There's no escape.

Oh, and I know that anything that criticizes this person and their views, and that encourages me and makes me feel better is just a lot of idiot sugarcoating...

How would you know that? It sounds like you want it to be true. Personally I've never been impressed by overachievers, Especially the ones who are conceited, egotistical, and lack compassion.
Would you agree that conceit and lacking compassion are imperfections?

[IrisBloom]

Sounds to me like that person is a narcissist and quite conceited. Her views are her own and she is entitled to them but she can't speak for others.

Every person has a wonderful purpose and just because you don't measure up to her standards does not make you less than anyone else.

I suggest you examine yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. As the old song says, "accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Find reasons to like yourself. And stop listening to narcissists.

No human is perfect. No human is garbage. You are here for a reason.

[LucyD]

Why would you even listen to that person?? None of it is true.

[nicoleflynn]

You are NOT trash and you don't deserve to die. When you were born, you were perfectand innocent; somewhere along the way someone told you lies about yourself. They are just that...lies. What you are doing is called "awfulizing" What would you try/do if you knew you could not fail? You have nothing to lose by doing/becoming the person you want to be.

As an aside, I took all of the ugliness of my life, wrote about it; won a schlarship at 60 and am a sophomore at 69. you cannot compare yourselves to others (everone is different and have different talents and goals). If you compare yourselves to others all of your life you will have wasted YOUR life; you are the only one who can control it. You do NOT "know" that everything you do will be a failure or awful. You THINK that. Why not take one tiny baby step and do something you want to do. There will always be people to criticize us; I find that usually it is because of jealousy. Don't let others define who you are. YOU get to do that.

this person you are quoting, if she's even telling the truth about herself & her accomplishments at all, sounds very narcissistic and conceited. as george said, these are also imperfections to be corrected. has she ever talked openly about her own flaws, or does she only mention the imperfections of others, while painting herself to look like an overachiever who makes no mistakes? she cannot possibly be perfect in every way, there has to be some things that she is bad at, even if she doesn't mention them. she has to have weaknesses.

i'm very cynical of people like her, because they only tend to show the side of themselves that they want others to see, which usually is this image of a perfect, well-rounded person that doesn't exist. that is dishonesty, in my opinion. she obviously is not as straight-forward as she would like to think, if she's unwilling to admit her own shortcomings. and we all have them.

i would not take her word to be the ultimate truth. it's important to remember that what she says is not fact, but opinion. they say opinions are a dime a dozen, and hers is only one of many.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Good god I'm regretting this thread...

Whenever i flip out like this, there's always some part of me that wonders if the person I'm taking so seriously is being honest, if they're exaggerating, or are simply biased, or if they're missing important information. But I can't let myself entertain that thought, because it feels like I'm just placating myself and avoiding the truth. Lying to myself or projecting my envy of their perfection.

A while after I posted this, someone basically wrote in that this kind of mentality (shared by a couple other posters) is toxic. As I read and agreed, I found myself thinking about how arbitrary such reverence really is - why are this person's standards the best? Assuming her accomplishments are factual, there's at least another's handful of people out there who are similarly amazing, who may well have different standards.

Also how this criticism is always valid/there's always room for improvement" mindset sounds...kind of like a perfectionism trap, where nothing is ever good enough because there's always a potential criticism somewhere.

Though the key here is opinions from extremely accomplished people. Like I said, I've been thrown for similar reactions by similar people, since it all boils down to my own inferiority.

To the person who asked about conceit and lack of compassion: it's not conceit if it's warranted, and yes, non-compassionate people bother me, but I always have this nagging feeling that raw intelligence can make up for it.

But I've been on an emotional bender for the last 3 days or so, and I find I often feel the title with totally different triggers... this was just the most recent outburst. God, I screwed up...

To the person who asked about conceit and lack of compassion...

That person was me I'm not sure if you're looking for intellectual dialogue, validation of your inferiority, or someone to comfort you by telling you that you're as good as anyone else. I'm def not going to be a party to validating someone who values a person by their intellect at the expense of their humanity or manners. If you just want to be smarter than others simply for the sake of being intellectually superior then you're on your own buddy.
Conceit is never warranted. Maybe you confuse conceit with confidence? Confidence w/o conceit impresses me. IMO intelligence can never make up for compassion... if the goal of life is human growth. Is that the goal? To me it is. I don't think being simply a biological computer would lead to a very satisfying life. I have wondered if I would trade compassion for a bit more intelligence but that was only because compassion can be very painful.
Okay, sorry for going off topic but your post helped me to think out a few things.
Envying someone born with more intelligence is understandable. Learning comes easier to them. Admiring intelligence as an accomplishment... not so understandable since it isn't in fact an accomplishment. Intelligence is inborn... it isn't something a person can acquire or accomplish.
Now I bet you're really regretting your post I hope you don't though. It obviously meant something to you. And you caused a few of us to think.

I've met very accomplished people from all walks of life and the one attribute that they all possessed is humility.

[IowaFarmGal]

As a rule of thumb confidence would never reach out to tear down another person or make them feel bad about themselves. Confidence would have no need to do that. Conceit is a defensive attempt to feel better by pulling another person down and shaming them. Can you block that person so you don't have to read their toxic posts? Reading that sort of thing would tweak my self hatred too.

How do you know she is autistic. She sound like a Narcissist *****.

[Onward2wards]

There's one thing I DID like about the supposedly autistic person's post ... the necessity of acknowledging that things are not where one wants them to be. I have had so much crappy advice over the years that amounts to "oh well things won't get better so 'suck it up' " ... too many people have that soul-crushing "that's just the way it is" lobster pot mentality. Things that are not desirable ought to be changed, and the effort to do so can be intimidating, but you either do what's needed or you don't. THAT part of it I can agree with, and applaud.

However, you can't inspire people to change by simply sneering at their fears or shortcomings. That lack of empathy I take a huge issue with!

One last thought ... "You aren't special for just existing". Why does this sound to me like "People only have worth based on accomplishment"? So, people have no intrinsic worth at all? And we wonder why the world is so messed up, with concepts like that gem floating around.

[Thunder Bow]

People post judgments all over internet forums. It is trash that was posted in that other forum. Judgments are trash anyway. Best to log off that forum, and empty the trash, and do not judge yourself.

[emijec]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

this person you are quoting, if she's even telling the truth about herself & her accomplishments at all, sounds very narcissistic and conceited. as george said, these are also imperfections to be corrected. has she ever talked openly about her own flaws, or does she only mention the imperfections of others, while painting herself to look like an overachiever who makes no mistakes? she cannot possibly be perfect in every way, there has to be some things that she is bad at, even if she doesn't mention them. she has to have weaknesses.

i'm very cynical of people like her, because they only tend to show the side of themselves that they want others to see, which usually is this image of a perfect, well-rounded person that doesn't exist. that is dishonesty, in my opinion. she obviously is not as straight-forward as she would like to think, if she's unwilling to admit her own shortcomings. and we all have them.

i would not take her word to be the ultimate truth. it's important to remember that what she says is not fact, but opinion. they say opinions are a dime a dozen, and hers is only one of many.

totally Agree, you hit the nail on the head. someone who is so busy talking about themselves are hiding insecurities. it's like deflection. I think this post is right on point.