[Artchic528]

The guy whom I was first intimate with, my first love essentially, is engaged to be married now. I don't know how to feel about it. Part of me is mad that he took my virginity and broke up with me, and left me with little more than "we can be good friends" (which we kind of never were).

I found this out on Facebook. Somehow, we never unfriended each other after the break-up (his idea). I want to unfriend him and just move on with my life, but if I did that now, I would seem jealous, or callous or something. I hate this.

[TishaBuv]

Very understandable feelings. F'n facebook.

[kaliope]

maybe you should figure out what that "or something" is so that you can let go and move on. you gave yourself to him and then he left you. there is probably some resentment there. whether that is jealousy or hurt or anger or sadness, it needs to be worked thru and the attachment released. and unfriend him. there is no reason to stay friends if there is no relationship. it doesnt matter what he thinks. take care.

[divine1966]

Facebook is a major source of drama in people's life! I am not on it for that reason

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[BlueCrustacean]

It's interesting that many of us tend to view women losing virginity as being "taken" or "used up", but men losing their virginity are powerful, higher up in social rank and had a fun experience that they can brag about. The whole concept of virginity is irrational anyway. Just because you two had sex doesn't mean he "took" anything from you. You just gained sexual experience with him. Now you can gain more experiences with someone else.

[JustJenny]

The virginity issue seems to be different in different families. My mother made a really big deal out of it and it created quite some issues in my head. For instance, I was afraid of "losing" it to somebody I will not get married to. Unnecessary pressure in a way.

Artchic528, I really feel for you. I would feel exactly the same in your situation. If I were you I would unfriend him on FB - you simply don't need this. You are not friends and whatever you will see there will only hurt you. There is no reason to have him on you FB.

I agree with BlueCrustacean - don't look at it as your personal loss. It's experience, that's all.

[TishaBuv]

Well, we view it as so important because it's a rite of passage. Movies also play it up big time. It's like weddings, how little girls dream of their big day and put so much importance on it being perfect.

If it makes you feel any better, I lost my virginity to a date rape. I never said anything about it and just put it out of my mind, and that guy frequents my facebook because he is the brother of a friend. If I see his face, I just snarl. It helped, though, to see that he's had a miserable life. Karma's a b!

You GAVE him your body. He didn't TAKE your virginity.

Have you slept with people since? Dated?

[SilverNeurotic]

You can always unfollow him, you'll still be friends but won't see his updates. It is a sucky situation.

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[ChipperMonkey]

The "we can be friends" line sucks. Sorry, but if you're dumping me, I don't want to be your friend. I respect myself more than that.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean

It's interesting that many of us tend to view women losing virginity as being "taken" or "used up", but men losing their virginity are powerful, higher up in social rank and had a fun experience that they can brag about. The whole concept of virginity is irrational anyway. Just because you two had sex doesn't mean he "took" anything from you. You just gained sexual experience with him. Now you can gain more experiences with someone else.

This.

.