[Yismymindblank12]

I'm not a person who belongs here. I hate reality and mine and I just want people to go away forever.

[Thunder Bow]

Time for a winter vacation?

[IrisBloom]

Are you saying you don't belong in Cincinnati?

Part of being an adult (if you are) is accepting reality. We don't have to like it, but there is no other choice. There are lots of things you can change if you want to. Oh, and other people are not your problem*. The only person you can change is yourself.

*It's normal to get "fed up" with being in the rat race of life. It is just a fact of life. Make changes in your life if you can, accept what you can't change. And take care of yourself.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by IrisBloom

Are you saying you don't belong in Cincinnati?

Part of being an adult (if you are) is accepting reality. We don't have to like it, but there is no other choice. There are lots of things you can change if you want to. Oh, and other people are not your problem*. The only person you can change is yourself.

*It's normal to get "fed up" with being in the rat race of life. It is just a fact of life. Make changes in your life if you can, accept what you can't change. And take care of yourself.

Screw being an adult. And I am already. I just don't like people period.

[spondiferous]

you're not alone. the more 'awake' (aware) i am, the less i like 'em. it's gotten to the point, in fact, where i have internalized shame about being human myself. however, that being said, i still believe strongly in social justice, so i'm a walking paradox i guess.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by spondiferous

you're not alone. the more 'awake' (aware) i am, the less i like 'em. it's gotten to the point, in fact, where i have internalized shame about being human myself. however, that being said, i still believe strongly in social justice, so i'm a walking paradox i guess.

Exactly.

[Yismymindblank12]

Recently some girl I randomly met gave me advice that hit me very well today. It impacted me in an ah ha moment.

I was not sober when speaking to her and it was out if place for me, but it hit me when she sarcastically replied,

"Did no one tell you not to assume ever? It's good advice."

I've been doing that all along. I never liked reality never could do it. I was always distant from reality I can actively stop being mindful a lot of the times and I'd be the happiest in the world but make a huge mess behind me.
Growing up she was right, I never learned or understand why I still do it. It really shows I choose to assume others will harm me because I have not successfully let anyone in or try to. I don't plan on it. I have difficult expectations I don't know how to let people in. It's not once in my life I was given that luxury. So I can't know as others do. I wasn't socially stupid or anything. I'm just scared not of failing , just causing me more distress that I don't need, I really needed someone to go to me and have me wake up. You know I can't say it's something that could of been avoided ever, I never had people really understand me ever because they never took the time to or just didn't care to. My parents included, my sister especially and anyone I was or am close to they get me all wrong assume from my behavior and words never anything else.

My only wish in life is to have that person who does just experience it once is all I want to afford.

[Yismymindblank12]

Yes to answer this post I chose to be immature on some things because I am holding myself. My real me.

[Yismymindblank12]

I chose to be selfish immature at some things because I never felt I wanted or was meant for adult hood. I couldn't let it go. I act civil and be adult in some areas but accepting reality is not my style. I'm too driven even if it brought me great harm I don't get down because I'm happy I made a choice than none.

My child self was selfless and caring and hurt a lot and scared and wanted to be everyone's best friend even when they didn't want me because I miss them even if they didn't miss me I grew always believing everyone needed love to know someone was there for them. I choose not to take certain responsibility because I am aware I'm not prepared nor I can handle it as in I don't want to push my negativity around when I put too much on my plate. That's I take mindfulness.

[ChipperMonkey]

Don't assume, ever?

Good advice yet bad advice.

Life is hardly ever about extremes.

Assuming the sun will rise tomorrow? GOOD assumption.

Assuming everyone will hurt you? BAD assumption.

It's all about learning what is ok to assume and what is skewed thinking.