[LifeInDarkness]

It’s been about half a year since I heard from her. Sometimes she’d do this – suddenly ignore me for a long time. The last time she did this (2 years ago), I sent her a bunch of e-mails saying I was sorry for whatever reason, that I missed her and wanted her to come back. All of that dumb stuff. When we started talking again, she said she’d never ignore me like that again, knowing how much it hurt me.

And yet she has done it again. It all started when I told her I wanted to go to graduate school in her area, and she was excited. However, later I confessed and she flipped out on me saying she wanted none of it. I haven't heard from her since.

I sent her a text saying I missed her over New Year’s, but after not getting a response, I said I didn’t want to play her mind games anymore. She said she wouldn’t ignore me anymore but now she’s doing it anyway? Wtf?? Another girl rejected me at my school similarly but instead of telling me up front, she lied to me, avoided me, and ignored my messages. I don’t care that she rejected me, but she didn’t even have the guts to tell me the truth. My best friend knew about this girl and how it agonized me so much, yet in my eyes, she is doing the exact same thing. I really hate people sometimes.

I have the biggest urge to send her extremely long and hateful e-mails. It really pisses me off that she thinks she’s too good to respond to me, that she’s hurting me ON PURPOSE. In the past, I would just spend my time waiting in a corner and be there whenever she was ready to talk to me again and tell her it was okay to hurt me. Not this time. It’s definitely NOT okay to hurt me like this.

The sad part is, I still miss her a lot. We talked a lot, and when we ran out of stuff to talk about, we would stare at each other, smile, and laugh. We used to text every day, wishing each other good morning and good night, and “I love you”.

To be fair, she warned me about “being too clingy” and that she is averse to guys like that. She also has a verbally abusive father, health deficiencies, and pressure of being the oldest child of 4.

But still, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. She said she would never leave me, but she is such a liar. She said she would hate herself if she lied to me, so she lied about that too.

I’m a top student at my school, but I can’t focus on my studies lately. Thinking about her has been eating up my thoughts. I have other friends, but none that would be there for me like she did (when she did), so that is why I am on here. I miss her, but I don't want to wait around. My life isn't meant to be lived that way.

Any thoughts to help me move one, insights about my/her feelings, etc. would be appreciated.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I had a close friend and we drifted apart. Every time I'd plan something she'd always bail at last min. She never called to make plans with me.
So I just ignored her.
I saw her 10 years later in a store. Turned out she had been on drugs. Her husband was dieing but on drugs too. Even her kids.
So I'm glad things went down the way they did.

Point is. You never know what's going on in someone else's head or life. Let her go.

[LifeInDarkness]

Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer

I had a close friend and we drifted apart. Every time I'd plan something she'd always bail at last min. She never called to make plans with me.
So I just ignored her.
I saw her 10 years later in a store. Turned out she had been on drugs. Her husband was dieing but on drugs too. Even her kids.
So I'm glad things went down the way they did.

Point is. You never know what's going on in someone else's head or life. Let her go.

That is so sad, but thank you. If she doesn't talk to me I guess I have to just let her deal with her own issues, as she has left me to deal with mine.