[PianogirlPlays]

I am angry about the things that hurt. They have collected terribly lately. The pain is turned inward. My head, chest and belly hurt. I struggle to try and get over it but really I am walking around pretending to be okay. That hurts too and makes the pain worse. I have tried to express these things to my counselor and others. Nothing seems to help and things don't change. The hurts are family related. I have been getting even worse because even though I try nothing really gets resolved.

[Angelique67]

Hi PianoGirl. Are you able to cry? I'm sorry for this but I know during a lot of crises in my life, I was able to cry for weeks or months, and some of the energy got released that way. But now, I'm not able to cry much due to the meds I take. I often wish I could just cry and get some of the pain released. I wish you better health soon. I also carry a lot of bad emotions which affect my body.

[Fightharder]

The people who buddish think that hate or been angry with others is like oneself drink poison, thinking the person you hate is going to die. But at the end it's you who is in pain another buddish metaphor is like you were throwing hot coal to the you hate, but at end you will get burned
So when you are thinking and thinking, you lose the present moment ... I'm not the best example on doing this, I'm in the middle of a crisis, but this way of think, all this metaphors have help me

If you have some minutes please check this links, I saw my self on these articles:

8 Tips to Help Stop Ruminating | World of Psychology

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On | World of Psychology

[PianogirlPlays]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Hi PianoGirl. Are you able to cry? I'm sorry for this but I know during a lot of crises in my life, I was able to cry for weeks or months, and some of the energy got released that way. But now, I'm not able to cry much due to the meds I take. I often wish I could just cry and get some of the pain released. I wish you better health soon. I also carry a lot of bad emotions which affect my body.

Not much able to cry and would if I could. At least my counselor does understand and that is a plus!

[PianogirlPlays]

Yes it is hard and hopefully I am trying to get help and make it different.

I can relate. I have plenty of unresolved issues that are family related.

It's getting to a point where the psychological pain is manifesting physically, via pains and aches. It's just as "Fightharder" mentioned, it's like I am poisoning myself by ruminating on thoughts that brings me down.

What is helping me a bit is to try and organize those thoughts, by making a kind of a "timeline of events" with things that have been said and done to me, with all details I can recall and the names of the perpetrators. This way I know for sure what's what, and who's who.

It's not something that comes out easy; I need to sit down and open the "can of worms" then stir through it. It's not a pleasant thing to do. It brings me down, most the time. And it hurts to relive it all.

But I know that this is part of the healing process. When you have an open wound, first you have to clean it, and that stings and hurts. Then you patch it up, and it's done...

I need to be able to work on each of those events, one by one, then try to make peace and bury it forever, or push it aside for now and keep working on it later.

This helps me set priorities as to what issues are more important and need sorting, and which ones I can just throw out of the window (sometimes we emcumber ourselves with things that don't really belong to us.).

I'm not done with that, and it will probably take me years... but I had to get it started somehow