[cxlvnr]

as the title says, i don't know what to do... my mum and the person living downstairs (we live in a flat and we have someone who has a flat under ours) have had a relationship at first and some day decided on a friendship with benefits and now he has a new girlfriend. my mum was diagnosed with depression some day in her life and i am trying everything to make her feel better rn and making her tea and bringing her food and stuff.

But i don't know what to do! i want her to be better again and now i came to a clue that i might have OCD (my aunt has it too so it's possible), i knew that i might have GAD for a long time now but i could never really get diagnosed because i once had a school psychologist but that person laughed at me when i assumed i had social anxiety (today it got even worse) so my trust to mental health people isn't the best.. i am barely able to trust someone anyway... i also know that having OCD is increasing the risk of developing schizophrenia, but that's not even what i worry about, if i do develop it during my transition (ftm trans) or during taking testosterone, then it can be proven that i had gender dysphoria before and that it doesn't have anything to do with schizophrenia.

i am just worrying about when to tell my mum about all this.... in my country there is a new law that if i don't have work 'til September, my mum is going to pay money as like... as if she did something bad... my sister doesn't know at all what's going on with me and keeps on telling me that the stuff i am anxious about is stupid. she's telling me all day that my anxieties are completely stupid and i don't know how much longer i will be able to take this.
(i wasn't allowed to go into the next school year because my marks were bad because of my depression so i had to drop out; my mum knew about all this and didn't do anything but pressuring me to study more which was extremely much stress)

if my mum wants, she can put me into a hospital, idc. i just don't want to be blamed for being like this. just thinking about all this and that my family might know if i get sent to hospital, that they're going to judge me as being useless, attention-seeking or anything else.....

i can't even sleep properly anymore because of my assumed OCD.. it just tells me that i shouldn't sleep (it's not voices) and that sleep is bad. i haven't slept properly in like 5 or so days and i am numb, yet my anxiety's getting worse as well as the intrusive violent and homicidal thoughts and i don't know what to do anymore.

i don't know how much longer i can take this twitching from my anxiety anymore.

How about doing absolutely nothing about anything, and see where it goes?

Sometimes, we have to simply admit that we cannot fix everything that we think needs fixing. Other times, it's best to let it all break so then we can see what's really broken and then fix it.

I know that OCD tells us to do exactly the opposite, but you have to learn to let things go to crap (better things going to crap than you).

You're listing so many worries, but they're mostly big IFs, and all of them depend on one worry or another to come real first, so the next one might (or might not) materialize. You're pilling up worry after worry over your own shoulders, and that's crippling you.

OCD makes you try and anticipate every little possibility so you are prepared to deal with crap when crap happens, but the truth is that in the end most of it or none of it will actually happen, and you encumbered yourself for nothing.

I say drop all that stuff, just like that. You cannot prevent crap from happening, nor can you fix what's not yet broken.

Take care.

Originally Posted by cxlvnr

as the title says, i don't know what to do... my mum and the person living downstairs (we live in a flat and we have someone who has a flat under ours) have had a relationship at first and some day decided on a friendship with benefits and now he has a new girlfriend. my mum was diagnosed with depression some day in her life and i am trying everything to make her feel better rn and making her tea and bringing her food and stuff.

But i don't know what to do! i want her to be better again and now i came to a clue that i might have OCD (my aunt has it too so it's possible), i knew that i might have GAD for a long time now but i could never really get diagnosed because i once had a school psychologist but that person laughed at me when i assumed i had social anxiety (today it got even worse) so my trust to mental health people isn't the best.. i am barely able to trust someone anyway... i also know that having OCD is increasing the risk of developing schizophrenia, but that's not even what i worry about, if i do develop it during my transition (ftm trans) or during taking testosterone, then it can be proven that i had gender dysphoria before and that it doesn't have anything to do with schizophrenia.

i am just worrying about when to tell my mum about all this.... in my country there is a new law that if i don't have work 'til September, my mum is going to pay money as like... as if she did something bad... my sister doesn't know at all what's going on with me and keeps on telling me that the stuff i am anxious about is stupid. she's telling me all day that my anxieties are completely stupid and i don't know how much longer i will be able to take this.
(i wasn't allowed to go into the next school year because my marks were bad because of my depression so i had to drop out; my mum knew about all this and didn't do anything but pressuring me to study more which was extremely much stress)

if my mum wants, she can put me into a hospital, idc. i just don't want to be blamed for being like this. just thinking about all this and that my family might know if i get sent to hospital, that they're going to judge me as being useless, attention-seeking or anything else.....

i can't even sleep properly anymore because of my assumed OCD.. it just tells me that i shouldn't sleep (it's not voices) and that sleep is bad. i haven't slept properly in like 5 or so days and i am numb, yet my anxiety's getting worse as well as the intrusive violent and homicidal thoughts and i don't know what to do anymore.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by cxlvnr

as the title says, i don't know what to do... my mum and the person living downstairs (we live in a flat and we have someone who has a flat under ours) have had a relationship at first and some day decided on a friendship with benefits and now he has a new girlfriend. my mum was diagnosed with depression some day in her life and i am trying everything to make her feel better rn and making her tea and bringing her food and stuff.

But i don't know what to do! i want her to be better again and now i came to a clue that i might have OCD (my aunt has it too so it's possible), i knew that i might have GAD for a long time now but i could never really get diagnosed because i once had a school psychologist but that person laughed at me when i assumed i had social anxiety (today it got even worse) so my trust to mental health people isn't the best.. i am barely able to trust someone anyway... i also know that having OCD is increasing the risk of developing schizophrenia, but that's not even what i worry about, if i do develop it during my transition (ftm trans) or during taking testosterone, then it can be proven that i had gender dysphoria before and that it doesn't have anything to do with schizophrenia.

i am just worrying about when to tell my mum about all this.... in my country there is a new law that if i don't have work 'til September, my mum is going to pay money as like... as if she did something bad... my sister doesn't know at all what's going on with me and keeps on telling me that the stuff i am anxious about is stupid. she's telling me all day that my anxieties are completely stupid and i don't know how much longer i will be able to take this.
(i wasn't allowed to go into the next school year because my marks were bad because of my depression so i had to drop out; my mum knew about all this and didn't do anything but pressuring me to study more which was extremely much stress)

if my mum wants, she can put me into a hospital, idc. i just don't want to be blamed for being like this. just thinking about all this and that my family might know if i get sent to hospital, that they're going to judge me as being useless, attention-seeking or anything else.....

i can't even sleep properly anymore because of my assumed OCD.. it just tells me that i shouldn't sleep (it's not voices) and that sleep is bad. i haven't slept properly in like 5 or so days and i am numb, yet my anxiety's getting worse as well as the intrusive violent and homicidal thoughts and i don't know what to do anymore.

i don't know how much longer i can take this twitching from my anxiety anymore.

I see that you are in australia. your employment problem, every country has their own way of handling those that are unemployed and on government assistance. example here in the USA many states require those applying for government assistance to sign up with a work program, go to job sites to pay the state back what the state has given them. this is so that those on government assistance get the job skills they need and be able to be a productive part of their communities by having a job, rather than staying on welfare. New York (my location) is one such state. you get approved for an amount of money every month, then Social services sends you a letter saying where your "job site " is, you go to the job site and they train you in that job while you work so many hours a day to pay back the state the money they are giving you. its like having a job but getting paid for the job first. doing things this way allows the state to be able to help more people, train more people and get people back out in the workforce so that when new people apply for welfare theres enough money in the states budge to help those people too. those that do not comply with going to the assigned job site must show their disability verification that will exempt them from working. if they dont show proof of their inability to work and dont comply with the program they lose their government assistance.

I did some research. this new law in your location isnt actually a new law. its just been updated. in the past anyone on the Dole (your locations government assistance program) had no choice but to go to job sites that the Dole employment agent sent them to, to be trained and begin working. those who are able to work (not disabled according to your locations standards) and do not go where their employment agent sends them to work off their government assistance risks losing their government assistance and must in some cases pay back the government the money that they were not entitled to receive. this part of the law is the same from the past. the new part of the law that was just enacted is for some people who qualify it is voluntary meaning those who fit the rules recently made law will not have to go to work for the Dole.

my suggestion is contact your Dole Employment Agent. they will help you to understand the changes in this new law and where your "job site" will be, and whether you fit the criteria for voluntary rather than being required to sign up and participate with the governments work program.

your moms situation... Im sorry theres nothing you can do. its just part of having relationships to grieve losing that relationship. it just takes time and going through the sadness, and other emotions that come from falling in and out of love.

[avlady]

it is weird for me because my grandmother who while she was dying told me not to worry alot because most of the things we worry about don't come true anyway!