[ezogyo]

My parents are crazy people. I have been bearing their ***** since young. They are drama queen, temperamental, chaos loving messed up bunch. They have this on and off argument going on for like forever. What's worse, each of them talks about each other, TO ME! Like I'm their middle man or something. I wouldn't mind being the middle man you know, if it meant to be like few times. But, they get into argument every twice or more a month(without fail). They would start giving each other cold shoulder for weeks and drain all their anger and complain to me. Tell me doesn't it sound insane? They even threaten to break the family apart, get divorce etc.

Even now as a 23 years old guy, I couldn't manage to stand up to their craps. I tried to talk to them many time regarding this, about how I feel and that they should mend fences, make compromises etc that all the time. But they don't listen. Few day or weeks later they go back to square one. I feel so helpless. Nobody understands me. and those who does, can't even help me. My family are the worst people I have ever experienced in my life. They are so toxic. I hate them soo much that I feel like running away..

But I won't be able to run away because I don't have a job. And I'm afraid to take up one since my depression makes me a weak person. So is there any hope for me, to get out of this web of frustration? What can I do, what steps I can take to help myself out of this situation? Or better, out of their life? Is there a way to speak up? Any creative way I can make them stop them from eroding their relationship so that I can find peace in the family and not have to run away? So that I can slowly improve myself and finally get independence from them..

Fyi, they are caring though. just that they are full of negativity. It's like their ego is more important then being together as a family. I don't know how to explain it in short tho, so it's complected.

*Trigger Warning*
Sometimes I wonder if they will care if I die now that for them, their ego is more important.

I don't want their money, I just want to live in peace. Away from any arguments, betrayals, chaos.

[nicoleflynn]

You can stop participating in the insanity. They will not change. You don't have to stand up to them, you simply need to stop responding. You can tell them that you will no longer be a part of their "stuff"--not my circus, not my monkeys. Look for a job. Get some therapy. A good book: Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

When they try to make YOU part of their chaos, walk away. They don't care what you think anyway, they just want someone to be part of their insanity.

You can only find peace when you take steps to reclaim your life....find a roommate...look for a job...at 23 it is time to be independent. It is all up to you...... little steps... a little at a time.

[Rose76]

How they are is how they are, and they are not going to change. It's wrong for them to complain about each other to you. When they do, try to not be very interested. Don't try to be an advisor or problem solver.

Look for a job that is not too complicated or too draining. Part-time would be best. Working is impossible only if you keep telling yourself that it is. It is scaring you because you tell yourself rhat you can not possibly cope. You might surprise yourself, if you give yourself a chance.

You need to start building an identity apart from your family. They are secretly glad that you don't work and can revolve your attention around them. They are undermining you becoming your own person. Don't let them win. The less you talk with them, the better because communication between your parents and you is all dysfunctional. It's good you give them credit for being caring. No doubt they are. But they are trapped in patterns that are unhealthy and sucking you into these patterns. Nothing you can say to them will change anything. You need action, not talk. That would be you getting up tomorrow and starting a serious search for something outside if your home to be involved in.

[ezogyo]

Thanks guys for understanding my situation and giving me your thoughtful advice. Yes I'm currently trying not to get involved and I retort back at them when they still force their problem on me(which seems to be working). I'm gonna lay low for awhile and gradually build myself up mentally and emotionally so that I'm ready to find a job and be an independent person