[passionfruit3]

I don't know why but ive always had a difficult time telling people no and speaking up for myself its like im stuck in my head it used to be worse when i was a teen i was taken advantage of by my younger nine year old cousin at fourteen i did tell him it wasnt right and he shouldn't do what he was doing but he kept coming on to me anyway i thought that when you say no to someone that meant it stopped but it didn't. He got in trouble by his mom but ive still struggled with speaking up all through therapy it was i dont know and its still the i don't knows a lot of the times i dont know is a cop out for i don't understand what your saying or i don't want to answer that question but i don't know why i simply cannot communicate that fact.i talk to family and friends and i seem to be able to talk to them but sometimes i don't understand what there talking about and i just shutdown by agreeing with whatever they say.i feel so dumb.also does it mean your dumb if your delayed my physical therapist said i was when i was a teenager and i was also in occupational therapy for motor skill issues.but i haven't been in either for a long time and when i went back didn't seem helpful and i don't think theyd be helpful for communication anyway it might also help to know i didn't have this communication problem up until i turned fourteen there was a lot of fighting going on at home physical and verbal

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[barbella]

It can definitely be really hard to speak up. Would you be OK with printing off what you posted to share with your therapist?
I don't think it has anything to do with your intellect. I thought you expressed yourself very clearly in your post. You have had some really bad experiences and it can be very damaging. Growing up in a violent environment is also harmful.

[Bill3]

I suspect that you learned in your household growing up that speaking up lead to problems, people being angry, abuse. Is that how it was? I am guessing that it was easier and safer to keep quiet in that household.

[nicoleflynn]

A helpful book to read is Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud. As children if we aren't allowed to express our feelings or have boundaries., we have to learn how to do that as adults.

[BLUEDOVE]

Oh,Passion, I was like that nearly my whole life! Please
help dear self,Quote: "You get the behavior from people
that you're willing to put up with without protest, your
silence is CONSENT!" Pin this up,or put somewhere
you can see---often. Look for book on assertiveness,it
will change your life.
Courage,
BLUEDOVE