[ezogyo]

Today I was supposed to go to my dad's company to work(I am his part-time manager). But, due to miscommunication, I took the day off since he told me I will not have my off days during the weekends so I thought why not today I take one. In the morning, first thing he did was to open my room door to check if I was home(which parents do that to their 20+ year old kids?).

When he found me reading books, he raised his voice at me. Saying why he sees me at home all the time. Why don't I help him in the family business "daily". I just lost it and gave him a comeback, stating that I'm not a insane to be such a no-life workaholics like them(both my mom and dad). I am not build for "DAILY" work! Even if I take up a job, I'd just be working 5 times a week, like c'mon. Then he went on to blabber about I'm wasting my life away, like ya i don't know that. And that I'm a useless son, not helpful and stuff. It hurts me, knowing that due to my anxiety and depression issue I have the difficulty to make it up to them. But I realize, i should not be hurt. Not when they are bunch of hypocrite people who spend thousands of dollars on divorce cases, home decorations, foods, booze and stuff and they have the rights to educate me about life?

So what I did was, not caring what he told me, i scolded him back, laughed it off after he left work and continued reading my book. And I intend to do this often because the fact that I am extremely afraid of my dad. He have this firm and hostile attitude with his loud voice that gives me the chill. His life is messed up(married 3 times, had previous kids, bad character, cynical etc). So you can tell why I couldn't help but stand up against him. Did I do the right thing? Or do I sound like a spoil brat? Please tell me honestly if you can. I need to know to improve on myself. Should I belittle myself and apologize to him?

I'm just stuck here in this family because I need time to overcome my anxiety(or i dunno if it's my laziness or just depression) to find a job on my own and move to another place. So frustrating to live in a negative environment...

[Thunder Bow]

Never ever belittle yourself. As you said, your father got problems. He has control issues. It is good you stand up to him. Now is the time to consider moving out to your own place, and working for some else.

[TishaBuv]

I lived at home after college and worked for my parents at their store in a mall. Regular work weeks were 40 hours, and Christmas was 70 hour weeks. That's what a full-time job is. I wouldn't have dreamed of refusing. They let me live at home rent-free and paid me to work.

You are lucky you are allowed to live at home and not pull your weight by really working full time. Other parents might throw you out on the street.

Is it time to be more responsible?

[Bill3]

I just lost it

Losing it is definitely a reason to apologize.

Should I belittle myself and apologize to him?

Actually, apologizing for losing it is not belittling oneself. It takes courage and strength of character to admit a mistake. A justified apology makes one bigger.

[divine1966]

It is wrong of your father to yell but I really don't understand how you expect your parents to support you? You either work full time or go to school full time or go on disability. I really don't understand a luxury of just not working ( again unless too sick to work and are on disability). If you don't want to work fur your dad then work somewhere else

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Perna]

I would make a plan on how you are going to overcome your anxiety and depression and spend at least one of your two days you want to take off to work on that plan instead of just reading in your room. You cannot test yourself and your bravery from inside your room. You have to confront the dragon out where the dragon is.

It is fine to tell your father how you feel and what you want to do or not do but belittling your father as he has you, that is not your business. Be kind and respectful to your father, he has his own problems. Perhaps if you cannot learn from him you can teach him with your example?