[Somedood]

My life is ****. Ever since I went to middleschool, I started to ridicule everything, in my head. I would've expected an ulcer by now but I am not that stressed. The teachers were miserable as F because my classmates were childish pieces of ****. I kinda felt their pain. I wasn't exposed to the media as much as my classmates. They rolled with the bandwagon, I didn't.

Today, my oldest sister bought me a cake for my birthday. (She was going out of town). She wanted to surprise me, and it backfired by me saying "Why'd you buy me this? I don't want it.", I couldn't even say thanks. Her boyfriend told me that she thought long and hard about it and for me to apologize. Thing is, I don't like celebrating birthdays. What's so special about being born? Especially for someone who didn't want to be born. Anyway, I decided I'm not going to apologize. I feel like an asshole. A heartless, self centered one too.

ouch, I can understand her feeling hurt. Perhaps that will pass, especially if she has a wish to try and understand you and the cost of MI on your emotional health.

Is it possible that you can find a way to acknowledge the gift without apologizing?

[Thunder Bow]

You are pushing people away from you out of self protection. You feel you will get hurt if you accepted the cake and said Thank You. You deserve the cake and her thoughts. Take the risk and let you guard down. Also you found an excellent way to feel bad about yourself. You do not need that..