[reploidphoenix]

I wasn't really sure where i should put this....so here it goes..
I have a narcissist mother, haven't really pinpointed whats wrong with my father yet. From my earliest memory, i remember my mother not wanting to sign a test that my sister had failed. I remember my sister crying before school, and i must have been 4. This is the start to a very long story, alot of which i myself don't remember. My mother has always put me down or said things passive aggressive style to make me feel guilty, or to make me act or feel the way she always wanted..

Skip to when i was about 12. My grandmother had moved in when i was 8 years old with us. She was also emotionally abusive, calling me stupid and telling me to go F myself.(I didn't even know what that ment at that age)Between being yelled at for failing grades(which i had been failing out since kindergarden...) My grandmothers abuse, and my dad taking out all his pent up anger out on me i became suicidal. I had written in a school journal i wanted to die...and stapled it shut that the teachers said to do if it was personal and didn't want something read. My parents were called down to the school and they had talked about what was going on. This is when my counseling had started. My father told my mother he was leaving and taking us away if he didn't kick my grandmother out. My grandmother was put in a nursing home. Besides her abuse, we also could no longer take care of her due to health issues.
Everytime i got upset over something, my parents would tell me to go write another journal...like it was some kinda joke i wanted to kill myself. I wrote them a note telling them how much it hurt me when they said that and left it on their bed. They told me how thin skinned i was and to grow up. In highschool i was very into art and did alot of drawing. One day i came home and all my art was gone. I asked my mom where all my stuff was and she said it was in the trash where it belongs.

By the time i was 20, i had thrown myself into a bad relationship that had failed..but that's a different story. Only thing to know that involved my parents was that they hated him before them met him..said he was white trash, and told how crappy my engagement ring looked compared to her anniversary ring.

After that relationship had failed i had no other choice by to move back home when things went bad..Skip several years to where things had gotten so bad i had again become suicidal. One of my family members had contacted me on facebook out of concern. My parents had found out..woke me up out of bed and told me to get out. My dad went in the livingroom and took my key off my ring, came in my room again and told me he wanted me out. I got out of bed and started to pack my things in my bed quilt as my parents screamed and argued at my door.. i ended up running out without my stuff and peeling out of my driveway. I ended up at my aunts for a couple months until i got an apartment. I didn't talk to them for alittle bit, but went back. Things seemed better because i was trying to please them...but any little slip up and i was the ***** again. Things were kinda going well, but my parents still had no boundries..calling my fiance and yelling at him when i didn't answer my phone for an hour..things of that nature. My roomate after 3 years wanted her bf to move in and told me to either move or she was going to abandon the lease on me..so i ended up back at home again until i could find a house...This is where my problem lies......

Once i moved back home...my dad treated me like a burden. I was to keep all my things in dorm caddy and take it to and from my room to shower...i wouldn't always have access to the room because they were painting and remodeling the house..I spent most of my time at my fiance's parents to avoid being home. I would get calls to go shopping for them when i wasn't planning on going home, but i would..my mother is an addict to prescription drugs..My dad blamed me for their failing marriage because i was suicidal when i was younger and kicked my grandnmother out...and my mom hadn't loved him since.

It had gotten so bad by the end..it was constant fighting. My mom told me how embarrassed and ashamed of me they were..how much of a disappointment i was. 2 weeks before my move date, my dad asked how my house was coming. I said the septic might not be done at closing, and he said i WILL be out on the planned date regardless. Luckily things had gotten done in time or i would have had to take my cats and myself to a hotel.

The first day i moved my dad watched me and my fiance move my stuff like a hawk. He said he didn't want anything damaged. He told me i was not allowed back in the house if no one was home.(felt like he was infering id steal something when i never had...?) I had come back the next day and he asked why i was there because it was raining..which i said i didn't want to discuss it because of his statement in the last paragraph. We moved the rest of my stuff out..before i walked out he said "thanks for watching the cats, and for giving you our old car, and for the down payment on the house..no problem.." (this was obviously sarcastic saying how ungrateful i was..)They always rubbed anything they ever did for me in my face..(and by the time i got their old car it was breaking down..but i was grateful none the less..)In the couple months i was there my dad said i was invading their privacy, so i went to give my key back and he said not to bother he was changing the locks.

After about 5 months, my mother would call me..and try to guilt me into calling her back, but didn't. Instead i wrote her a letter on how i felt, things she had done, and that these things had to change if she ever wanted a relationship with me..I never got an answer to this letter.

I did not talk to them for about 7 months....since october...

My dad called me last week to say he was going into surgery. When i called back it was BS surgery...and that he thought i was being unfair in not talking to my mother that she loves me. I told him that it was HER choice by HER actions that i do not talk to her anymore..and that nothing has changed...

Today..he had the nerve to leave me a message as if nothing happened...asked me to find a part for his car for him.. and gave me instructions that mothers day is coming up. That if i don't get her a card not to get him one for fathers day because it would hurt her feelings... I feel this behavior is the same old ****...overstepping boundries...

I'm trying to cope with the anxiety on whether i should answer...or not call back because of this behavior...the guilt i feel because last week he said he wanted a relationship but is using manipulating tactics...? I'm just at a loss....

I'm sorry this was soooo long..but i wanted to give you an idea of how things were...i feel like i should continue my VERY limited contact with them.... Any suggestions?

[Thunder Bow]

Suggestion....Continue your very limited contact. There is nothing much more you can do.

[seesaw]

Yes stay low contact please.

My father is a complete narcissistic asshole, and my mother has borderline personality disorder. It made for a **** childhood.

I think do whatever you can to never need anything from them again..it's not worth the emotional abuse.

I'm glad you've got your own place.

Seesaw

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

[reploidphoenix]

thanks guys =)

[someformeaswell]

Low contact, most definitely. I got along so much better with my dad when I moved out of state, then once I moved home it was everything all over again. Very limited contact doesn't just make the relationship easier to deal with - it gives you a chance to heal from it, as it seems like you know. And cats make everything better Best of luck.

I agree. I try to avoid my parents, too.