[PerfectlyImperfect41]

It has been a while since I visit the site and I must say I missed it. Who am I? I became the person everyone around me expect me to be it took me almost 3 months, but if I look in the mirror it's not the real me! I don't know if anybody experience this but it feels like due to my mental health I have to proof myself every day. I hate taking my medication every day I feel like a zombie but I was told that without the medication I'm not the person they know.

So now I ask myself can I only be accepted because I'm on medication? Why can't we be accepted just the way we are. My farther has a heart problem and I don't hear anyone telling him if you don't take your medication you are not the person we know. Funny how it works!!!

Thanx for listening I just had to get it of my chest.

A big to everyone here at PC

Sun

[Thunder Bow]

Who told you that?

[PerfectlyImperfect41]

My family. I know what I did 3 months ago and my behaviour could not have been easy for them. Every day I try to be a better person I was yesterday. My biggest problem is my obsessive jealousy in my marriage if I only can get this under control. It's destroying my life and no medication can help how I feel.

Sun

[avlady]

i hope you can get over your jealousy, i used to be the same way too. i learned not to sweat the jealous thoughts and actions. is your wife aware of how badly it makes you feel. if so i would think she should be aware and help you get through these jealous spells. my husband helps me and would talk me out of it. now after 20 years of marriage i'm over it. good luck

[PerfectlyImperfect41]

Originally Posted by avlady

i hope you can get over your jealousy, i used to be the same way too. i learned not to sweat the jealous thoughts and actions. is your wife aware of how badly it makes you feel. if so i would think she should be aware and help you get through these jealous spells. my husband helps me and would talk me out of it. now after 20 years of marriage i'm over it. good luck

Thank you avlady. My husband knows of all my mental helth problems with jealousy being one of it, unfortunately he and my psychologist thinks my jealous behaviour is a obsessive behaviour. I do try and talk to my husband about how I feel but he gets angry so I choose not to talk about it, to keep the peace.

I don't want to push my husband away from me I just can't explain why I feel so insecure. Everything started 3 years ago and I don't know why before that I was functioning normal or so I thought.

I really need help and it feels like I'm alone

Sun

[Bill3]

What would you think of seeing a talk therapist?

[PerfectlyImperfect41]

Originally Posted by Bill3

What would you think of seeing a talk therapist?

Thank you Bill, I think that will work I will ask my psychologist if she can refer me to one.

Sun

[Grayfog]

Hi Sun,
It seems so important for you and your husband to be able to discuss your symptoms in a non-threatening way. I'm sorry if he isn't able to do that. Is there a way you can describe your symptoms to him and talk them through without pushing him away? Maybe he's been feeling threatened or accused when you bring up symptoms. Is there a way to make them more factual and less scary?
Talk therapy can be so helpful, so I'm glad you're looking into that. I've also found meditation helps me cope with my anxious and obsessive thoughts and recognize them for what they are - just thoughts, not reality. If you go to YouTube and search "ocd meditation" a lot of good guided meditations come up.
Best of luck. I'm in your corner.