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#1
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Tonight I have a dip in mood again.I have overindulged in eating peanuts and feel full.I also feel frustrated because I spend mostly 24/7 days alone,I visit my mum and occasionally see my niece,but other than that I get so lonely.
What with my eating problems,the depression,the loneliness and the physical infirmities on top of the mental health issues,it is all too much and overwhelming. Tomorrow is a payday/food shop day.I feel too tired to do it but there is no way out of it cos there is no food in the fridge....I don't need a lot so will plod my way round the supermarket and get what I need.I feel low tonight and need sleep,I have been sleeping most of the day though.I guess the more I sleep the more sleepy and drowsy I get. My frustrations are so difficult to handle, the negative emotions, loneliness, anger, emotional pain,and no one to talk to about it all,no one that understands.I had to let home help go in order to hire a gardener so the change of personnel is an upheaval,I've got to get used to a man being around which I have never had before! It unsettles me to be honest. I also want to go back to counselling which I can do now they said to give it three months in May and it is almost that in July.I may put money aside to start up with the counselling again.I am not sure. I need to deal with the hurt and the wounds from the past and I need more energy,just having more energy,enough energy to do more will help me and when I have energy I feel invincible! How will I solve the problem of being alone and the fears around letting people into my life? Time might solve it! Tonight I am going to rest and watch some more TV.Ring my mum later for a chat and get an early night so I get rested enough to have the energy to do the shop tomorrow,go to the post office and the bank. My cats are indoors and settled resting,I am glad I have them they are special and they need me! Marylinx |
![]() BrazenApogee, Skeezyks
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#2
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Best wishes for a most pleasant evening, Marylin...
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
![]() Marylin
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![]() Marylin
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#3
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Marilyn, I would definitely try and put aside some money to see a counselor again. Your mental health is very much worth it, and a good counselor can help you deal with the intense emotions you are feeling.
I know how you feel about being upheaved with having a new gardener around. I hate having men I don't know around my place or just around me in general. I don't know why, but I do. (Hugs) Seesaw
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![]() What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
![]() Marylin
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![]() Marylin
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#4
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Thanks for your support Seesaw.Yes,me too I don't like having men around me.
They make me assess myself through their eyes and that makes me very insecure and vulnerable!Stems from bad experiences in my younger days. |
#5
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Your welcome. (((Hugs)))
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
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![]() What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
#6
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Considering you background, you are doing exceptionally well.
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![]() Marylin
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