[Ghostkrumpet]

I do tend to take things really personally and am a pretty reactive person. I am trying to work on it so that I am easier to communicate with but sometimes I find myself in an argument and I am completely and utterly bewildered how it got that far. Then I am doing all my old habits of just reacting to whatever is happening instead of trying to calm the situation. My boyfriend says I am a drama queen which I really, really, hate, because I do want things to be nice and calm and happy all the time. It'd just a little harder for someone with Bipolar ! and severe anxiety to get to that point. He tells me I go big all the time. There is truth is that, but I'm not sure having my faults thrown back in my face all the time is helpful. I'm also wondering if some of you feel really lost in your relationships because you feel he ,always always has the upper hand because the way that you respond to any sort of conflict is wrong? I'm feeling like I'm living under a microscope and any wrong move I make is brought to my attention. He says it isn't like that and he always wants me to be genuine and be myself, but it doesn't feel like that sometimes.

[DirtyPaws]

I've been there so many times! I can totally relate... Have been with my boyfriend 5 years now and we are just recently to a point where he's realized that attitude isn't fair, or at all helpful, and that no one is perfect! No relationship can work with a dynamic like that. Regardless of which one has a diagnosis, we all have problems and neither one can take a superior attitude and blame it all on the other, because it takes two to create an argument and it takes two, as well, to avoid an argument

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[Trippin2.0]

I can definitely relate, except I know for sure "Drama Queen", or "Over reactive", wasn't thrown in my face or said to make me feel less than. It was to bring awareness to my behavior, and once I was able to understand that, and not attach negative emotional connotations to those words, I was able to apply the criticism constructively.


My bf is very good at de-escalating an argument, so now instead of incessantly attempting to detonate regardless, I allow him to defuse the impending explosive argument.


This gives us both (mainly me) time to calm down and have a calm rational discussion.


In answer to your second question, no I don't feel lost or that he has the upper hand in our relationship.

His cool, calm and collected way helps to keep me grounded, he's an effective sounding board, or gauge.


I would just like to add that, with my own set of MH issues, none of this has been easy, and would not have been possible without trust.