[Blackstonewell]

Why does it feel like "I can't do this" has so much more power and it's a relief to say it than the "I can do this"? It's weird how it feels like a war against myself to say I can, but when I surrender and say, "I can't" it feels so much better. Is there some kind of reward mechanism in my brain that makes me feel right to give up and fail because I want to be right? It seems horribly backwards in common thought to anyone else.

[gayleggg]

"I can" means you have to take action and
"I can't" doesn't. That's what I think makes it easier to say "I can't".

I try to find another option. I can't do this but I'm willing to do that.

[Monarch Butterfly]

I'm the same way. justafriends suggestion is excellent. I plan on trying this. Any little positive thing we can say to ourselves helps.

Mmm...well...for me saying I can't is basically giving into fear or insecurity. If I say I can't then I can't fail because I didn't take the steps or action to do something that I was scared to do or believed I couldn't do. So saying I can't is basically shutting down any possibility of failure.

[TiredPilgrim]

I have a friend who find it nearly impossible to say no. So when she is unable to do something for what she perceives as 'legitimate' or pre-existing reasons (IE previous scheduling, sick family) she is relieved.
Being unable to do something also leaves a person without the moral dilemma they have when they are able to do something but choose not to.
Are you able to identify where your relief comes from?